


Say something

by rosesarebest



Category: Pentatonix
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 34,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1458529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesarebest/pseuds/rosesarebest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Pentatonix story. Mia has her mundane world turned upside down when she meets a group of musicians at a party. She discovers the power of friendship and that love is not always easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a short story that grew and grew, this is inspired by the Pentatonix cover and video for Say Something, which carries so much emotion, there had to be a story behind it.

 

Mia screwed up her face and shook her head vigorously. She really didn’t feel like going to a party, but knew that her friend Jo would be disappointed if she stayed home.

‘Come on Mia, it’ll be fun, you know Cassie throws the best parties.’

'I hardly know Cassie, and I won’t know anyone else there. I’ll just end up watching everyone get drunk. Again.’

Jo put on a pleading look, 'Please come. You need to get out more, there’ll be lots of great guys there- well maybe one or two –‘

Mia looked at her friend, who clearly had one man in mind, and that man was Kyle. She rolled her eyes inwardly, but put on a smile and said brightly, ‘Oh, OK then, but only because you asked so nicely.’

Grinning, Jo hugged her and then picked up her bag and walked to the door, turning back to say, ‘Pick you up tomorrow night then. Wear something cute.’

Saturday found Mia wondering if she was doing the right thing, but she couldn’t back down. She was unsure if she had anything to wear that qualified as cute, since her wardrobe seemed to consist largely of neutral jackets and sober office dresses. The job was the reason she had come to this city, and her parents would not have been happy with anything less. While she loved to draw, they had other plans for her future, and for her to be successful in a serious career. The last time they had visited, she put away her art materials in a box under the bed, unwilling to listen to her mother wonder aloud why she had not grown out of colouring books, and there it remained.

She let the shower water wash over her, remembering her father’s words.

'This world does not owe you a living. Got to work hard for what you want.’

She mused that it certainly did not owe her a social life, had to get out there if she wanted to meet someone. Then she was laughing at herself, she wasn’t about to start taking in stray cats after all. Wrapped in a towel with wet hair trailing down her back, she surveyed her small clothes rail. Not a great variety, but she picked out a dark red top and her favourite jeans. Her hair was drying and she decided to leave it to its own devices, briefly running her fingers through the chestnut waves.

As she put on the long silver earrings she had fallen in love with on holiday last year, she looked at herself critically in the mirror. Eyeliner framed her hazel eyes and after adding some berry lipstick, she felt it was a rather Gothic look that was a nice change from her usual minimalism. The doorbell rang and Jo swept in looking excited and wearing a green dress, of all things. She had clearly made some effort, with her blonde hair sleek and shiny and the whole effect topped by a soft suede jacket.

‘That looks lovely, and also pricey.’

‘Yeah, decided to treat myself. Let’s go – where are your shoes?’

Mia found one boot and started hunting for the other, finding it under her bed behind a dusty box. Impulsively she pulled the box out as well as the boot, before putting on her jacket and joining her friend who waited impatiently by the open door.

 

The party was on the fifth floor, and on the way up Jo chattered away. Once inside, she was in her element and seemed to know everyone. Mia followed behind, watching Jo occasionally glance over to Kyle but without approaching him. Then she lost sight of Jo, and resigned herself to playing the wallflower again. Moments later, Jo was back, grabbing her hand and pulling her through the crush of people.

‘My friends from high school are here! Can’t believe it, it’s been so long since we all sang together in choir. Come on, you should meet them, they’re so fun.’

Jo approached them, as a very tall blonde man started singing, soon joined by his petite red haired companion who had her arm round his waist. The song was interrupted when Jo joined the group and was greeted rapturously by a shorter dark haired man. Mia smiled as she was introduced to everyone, though she didn’t catch most of the names they seemed friendly. She watched them joking with each other and with Jo, and wondered if she could ever be as confident.

'Crazy, huh? But they’re always like that, believe me.’

She was a little startled by the deep voice of the man who was now standing next to her, getting a glimpse of a dark beard and knitted hat as he leaned towards her smiling. Mia could not remember his name.

‘Were you at school together?’

‘No, we met a few years ago, and five of us are in a band together.’

She thought that it might be rude to ask if she had ever heard of them, and feeling unusually bold, she decided to tease him. ‘So you’re a starving musician then?’

‘Hmm. I am a musician, and I am always hungry, so I guess that makes me guilty as charged. What I really need right now though is some water.’

‘Well, I do know where to find that. It’s this way.’ She turned and pushed through the crowds, on the way spotting Jo chatting happily to Kyle. It was marginally cooler and quieter in the kitchen. Mia poured a glass of water and handed it to the musician, and while he gulped it down she took a better look at him. His beard was neatly trimmed and his hair curled over the collar of a well worn leather jacket where it escaped from his olive green beanie. He looked the part she thought, as he set down the empty glass and turned to face her with a proper smile, extending his hand formally.

'Needed that. I am Avi, and you are - ?’

Her stomach did a slow flip, looking into green eyes while his voice sang in her ears. She felt herself flush, and hoped he would put it down to the wine she was holding. Wait, she thought, I'm supposed to reply.

'Mia, pleased to meet you.’

‘Tell me, do you know whose party this is?’

‘No, I mean yes, well it’s Cassie’s party but I’m really just a friend of a friend. I mean my friend Jo knows Cassie.’

He seemed amused by this. ‘Then how did you know where the kitchen was?’

‘Oh, I spotted it on the way in.’

He nodded, mock serious but eyes still twinkling. ‘I understand completely. Escape hatch. But now we’ve introduced ourselves you can talk to me as well as your friend. Let’s get back to the others before they think I went to get a burger. Wouldn’t be the first time.’

Back in the main room, the music was even louder and she was welcomed into the group as if she had known them all for ever. She found herself smiling a lot.

Much later, the party started to break up and Mia slipped away from the group in search of Jo, but she was nowhere to be seen. Feeling oddly content, she hailed a cab and texted Jo from the back seat, but got no answer. It had been an entertaining night, and she fell asleep instantly.

The next day, a tired but triumphant Jo was sitting on Mia’s sofa drinking coffee. She confessed that Kyle had asked her to dinner the following week. Mia was pleased for her friend, who had been keen on Kyle for some time.

‘So how was your evening?' Jo asked. 'I missed you at the end of the party. Did you have a good time?’

‘Actually, yes I had a great time. I was talking to your friend the musician, you know with the beard? He shook my hand, can you believe that. Anyway we were with your choir friends most of the night and they were so friendly –'

Jo looked at her sharply. 'You mean Avi?’

‘Yeah- unusual name really, but in a good way.’

Jo looked thoughtful, before declaring the night a success. She put on her shoes and left to walk back to her own apartment close by, but not before hugging Mia and saying she should go out more often.

Mia did not want to think about work the next day, wanting to keep the weekend feeling going. Wandering into her small bedroom, she caught her foot on the box by the bed. Maybe she would leave the laundry till later. She pulled the box onto her bed and lifted the lid off. Inside, the first thing she found was a black journal, edges curling slightly. About half the pages were filled with drawing, doodles, quick sketches in charcoal and in colour, and a small pocket in the back bulged with papers. As she opened it, scraps of paper fluttered onto the bed. She looked at pictures cut and torn from magazines, and amongst them was a little purple flower, dried and tissue thin.

Tears suddenly pricked at her eyes, when had she given up on her art, on her dreams? Her parents meant well, but they could not encourage her in wasting her time, when she had real work to do. She picked up the flower and using glue found in the box, carefully stuck it to a page from the journal. She attached it to her fridge using a magnet. The journal went into her bag, all the pictures replaced in their pocket.


	2. A kiss and a promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia and Avi meet again. Dessert is the best part.

Over the next few weeks, Mia tried to remember what art meant to her. She went to an art gallery in the city and looked at pictures, she sat in the park wrapped up and watched buds unfurling, joggers, people with dogs and children playing, and she kept the journal close. She was not ready to use it yet.

 

Jo and Kyle were soon dating happily, and she was genuinely pleased for them, even if there was an occasional pang of envy when she saw them holding hands. It would soon be Jo’s birthday, and Mia expected that they would be arranging some candlelit dinner. So it was a complete surprise when Jo announced that she wanted an evening out with some close friends, and that she had booked a big table in the local Italian restaurant. Mia said,

‘That’s so great- I love tiramisu! And it will be great to catch up with people too.’

‘We are gonna make that happen,’ Jo smiled. Mia felt this was more her style, and she could cope with dinner much better than some huge party.

 

Two weeks later, the three were sitting at the long table by the window, as the other guests arrived and greeted Jo with hugs and gifts. Mia wore an intricate silver necklace this time, and had tied her hair back in a ponytail. After applying pink lipstick, she felt quite confident for once in her plain white shirt and jeans. More people arrived, but as eight o’clock came and went Jo cast more than one glance out of the window. About twenty minutes later, Jo jumped up, and four people got out of a cab.

Mia tried to put names to faces, as they filed in and waited at the end of the table. Scott was the tall one, the petite girl with him now had black hair, then there was Avi in a dark blue beanie and the same leather jacket, and finally his friend Kevin, taller and broader. Kevin held up his hand for quiet, before they sang possibly the most beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday that Mia had ever heard. The beatboxing accompaniment was unexpected, and the deep bass harmony clearly belonged to the hat wearing musician. Jo rushed over to them and exclaimed,

‘That was awesome guys, thank you! Where’s Mitch?’

‘Oh, he had to be someplace else,’ Scott rolled his eyes, ‘but he might drop in later. Don’t hold your breath though.’

 

They were really good Mia thought, as Jo was engulfed in hugs and started guiding people to the last few empty chairs. She found herself sitting next to Avi, which pleased her as she had expected Scott and Kirstie to take the two adjoining seats beside Jo. They made a nice couple.

 

‘Hi Mia, we meet again, sorry this is a bit of a squeeze.’ His smile was infectious, and she returned it easily.

‘It is a little cosy tonight, but the food’s good, and they do the best tiramisu. I think dessert is the best part.’

‘Well, I think it’s all the best part where food is concerned.’

That was a voice she could listen to, and soon chatter and laughter and even occasional songs were heard around the table. As Avi turned his attention to eating, she became aware of her knee pressed against his thigh. There was no space to move, but it didn’t seem to be a problem for him. On her right, Jo turned to whisper in her ear.

‘Everything OK?’

‘Oh yes, more than OK.’

 

As dessert came, Mia felt relaxed. People were swapping places and she enjoyed chatting with  nearly all the guests, though she noticed that Kyle stayed close to Jo who was flitting about making sure that everyone was having a good time. When the first cab arrived, the four singers got up, pleading an early start the next day. Kevin and Avi had a quiet conversation, ending with nods of agreement and Avi came back to sit next to Mia.

He turned to her and said, ‘Jo tells me you both live nearby, so I thought I would walk you home. If that’s all right?’

Mia was caught off guard and didn’t know what to say. No words came to mind except, ‘Sure, I’ll get my coat.’ She went over to embrace Jo, who whispered under her breath,

‘Have fun!’

Even though she had only drunk one glass of wine, she felt slightly giddy as he offered his arm and she linked hers. She was very aware of the remaining guests watching them as they left, and yet that did not matter.

 

It was a short walk back to her block, and then they were outside her door. She opened it and turned to face Avi.

‘Last time, you ran out on me. I won’t let that happen again, so let me get your number. Can we just step inside a minute?’ He stood just inside the door as they exchanged details, before putting his phone in his pocket. His voice echoed in the small hallway, and seemed to surround her.

‘I am out of town again for a while, but I’ll call you, promise.’ He nodded, suddenly more serious.

Avi  gazed at her, and she was surprised as he leant towards her and kissed her on the tip of her nose, his moustache tickling softly. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, he kissed her gently on the lips, cupping her face in hands still cool from the outside air. Her lips parted and her heart was pounding, he smelt of leather and a faint citrusy scent, and she could not move. She let her tongue explore his. He drew her closer, her arms closed naturally around his waist and he held her against him, his hands rubbing her spine. Heat flared inside her and she was melting, her brain buzzing. Finally, he loosened his hold a fraction. There was a the tiniest gap between them, and Mia felt her skin tingle while her breathing sounded loudly in the narrow space. He ended as he had begun with a last lingering touch of his lips to her nose, his eyes now dark pools.

He spoke in a low tone and said, ‘Goodnight, Mia.’

Before she could reply, he was gone. Slowly she got air back into her lungs, and went through to her room to get ready for bed. She smiled the whole time, because that was a kiss to remember.


	3. Spring blossoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi and Mia get to know each other better.

Mia was distracted by the memory of Avi’s kiss for the whole of the next day. Her co-workers barely registered the change, but she often closed her eyes and remembered green eyes and his smile. It was unexpected, but she liked it.

Around lunchtime, her phone buzzed and Jo’s text asked

_“have a good night???”_

_“very nice thanks”_

_“7pm my place you better be ready to talk”_

She smiled again, Jo was clearly dying to hear what had happened.

After work she changed and made the short journey to Jo’s place.

Jo regarded her for a minute as she settled on the sofa, then demanded, ‘So how did it go?’

Mia smiled in reply, ‘Oh, we walked back, and then he went home.’

Jo narrowed her eyes, ‘That’s it?’

‘Not everyone has a one track mind you know. We swapped numbers, and he did kiss me goodnight,'  Mia’s voice trailed off at the memory. She felt like she was fifteen again, her cheeks warm and unable to keep the smile from her face.

‘Ha! You are actually blushing, Mia Jones. You do know he likes you.’

‘What are you talking about ?'

Jo rolled her eyes, her friend was clearly out of practice. ‘I was talking to Kirstie a couple days after Cassie’s party, you know where you met, and she said that Avi was a little quiet afterwards, well more quiet than usual. And when she asked him about it, he said that you vanished and he didn’t get your number. So then, when it was my birthday and they were going to be in town, it seemed like a good opportunity.’

‘So you planned it all?’

‘It worked didn’t it? He hasn’t dated for a while you know, doesn’t give his number to just anyone – and you are still blushing.’

Before Mia could reply, her phone rang. 'Hello – oh hi, Avi. Yes, I can talk.’

Grinning broadly, Jo went off to the kitchen. This called for cookies and hot chocolate.

 

The cold of winter gave way to spring, with flowers starting to bloom in her small window box outside the kitchen window. Catching sight of the cheerful pansies as she washed up one day, Mia decided to draw them. She got the slightly battered sketchbook out of her bag and sharpened her pencils. Her first efforts were less than perfect, but she mused to herself, it was a start at least and she had to begin somewhere. At the weekend she tried a still life of fruit from the kitchen. When her father’s voice of disapproval sounded in her head, she drowned it out by listening to her ipod, and in the evening she looked for new paints and brushes online. Maybe she could try to paint something next.

 

Mia soon discovered that far from being a starving musician, as she had mocked him at that party, Avi was part of Pentatonix, a hugely popular a cappella group, and it was touring and recording that kept them all out of town so often. The little bits of singing that she had heard only hinted at their talents, and Jo only smiled when Mia wondered aloud why she had not thought to mention all this when she was so intent on setting them up together.

‘It’s better this way, that you find out for yourself.’

So she spent some time catching up with Pentatonix on YouTube, amazed at their journey from reality show to recorded artists. Their harmonies and beats were entrancing, and she could see that they were not only a group, but a close family unit with many adoring fans. It did not escape her that Avi had a devoted following, and not all female.

 

They kept in touch by phone and Skype, but that was often interrupted by one of the others singing in the background or invading the screen to say hello. There was always a lot going on, and she tracked their journeys closely. She had all their songs on her ipod, and with headphones on tried to follow Avi’s bass line, fused with Kevin’s beats as the pulsing heart of the melody. Sometimes she fell asleep listening to his voice.

 

A few weeks later, Mia and Jo’s Friday movie night turned from their usual quiet end of week treat into a raucous evening when first Kyle invited himself along, then as he arrived Mia’s phone rang.

‘Hey, Avi. We’re staying in, it’s movie night for me and Jo. No, that would be great, see you soon.’

Jo raised an eyebrow from where she sat on her sofa with Kyle.

‘Yes, Kevin and Avi are coming over, I didn’t think you’d mind?’ Mia felt suddenly shy, but she was also excited at the prospect of seeing him again. Soon the two men arrived with supplies of food and drink to feed an army, and they had even found Kirstie along the way.  They laughed and talked their way through the movie, poking fun at the characters and occasionally singing along to the soundtrack, while the men attacked the food and beer.

As midnight approached Kirstie was yawning and Avi stood up from his chair.

‘Looks like it’s time to get this sleepyhead home, so we’ll say goodnight.’ He glanced at Mia who was clearing away the debris of their meal, and followed her into the kitchen as the others found their jackets.

‘Back in the kitchen together.’

She remembered that first meeting well, and their first kiss had been so electrifying, she was unsure what was coming next. She felt as if they were halfway through a conversation, and as he held her round her waist she realised she had been waiting for the next chapter. His lips were very soft on hers, but too soon he was whispering in her ear. Warm breath caressed her skin leaving goosebumps, and she felt herself shiver a little.

'See you very soon. They’re waiting for me.’ 

She heard the goodbyes being said and busied herself, unwilling to face Jo’s comments. She knew she was probably blushing again.

Outside the door, Kirstie linked her arm with Avi walking back to his car.

‘That was fun. She’s a really nice person isn’t she?’ She heard the smile in his voice as he agreed.

‘Yes she is. It’s great to see her again.’

Now Kirstie was smiling at those few words that told her he really was happy, and she hugged his arm tighter.

 

The next time Avi came over Mia greeted him with a long hug at the door, and as soon as he closed the door behind him, he took her hands and kissed her gently.

‘Hello,’ his voice rumbled in her ear.

She wanted to sigh and bury her face in his neck, but instead she smiled back at him and led him into the sitting room where she had been loafing with the laptop. She made coffee and took it back to the sofa, where she put her feet up comfortably before saying innocently,

‘They say lots of nice things about you, do you ever read the comments?’

He shook his head. ‘None of that is truth, none of it is about the real me. If you start believing the hype, you lose your way. We all know that. Of course, it is nice to be appreciated as an artist, but I’m still a regular guy.’

‘A regular guy, huh? Well what about this here, hundreds of women want to have your babies-'

‘You stop.’

‘This guy here has a crush on you, this woman says your voice is like a very good vibrator-‘ Mia giggled at that, and at Avi rolling his eyes.

‘I’m asking you to stop, or else-'

‘And thousands of women say that when you speak, their ovaries explode!’

Avi moved from his seat to take the laptop carefully from Mia’s hands, before jumping on to the sofa where he proceeded to tickle Mia till she screamed for help.

‘Stop it, help me someone!’

He tried to wear a serious expression, but could not help smiling. ‘I really warned you, so.’

Mia wriggled in his grasp, her legs were pinned between Avi and the back of the sofa, and her wrists held firmly at her sides. She considered her options, still laughing and a little breathless. Avi was laughing too, but he gazed at her until she lay still, looking at her tousled hair and head thrown back.

‘Do you submit?’

She shook her head vigorously, eyes closed and a smile still on her lips. He bent forward, his chest against hers and she shivered at the sound of his words, as they resonated deep within her.

‘Submit, or accept the consequences- and this time there will be no mercy.’ His moustache brushed her ear, and breathing in his faintly spicy scent she sighed.

‘Is that a–'

‘Yes - I am defeated,’ she whispered, and he released her wrists and started dotting little whiskery kisses about her neck.  Now free, her hands snaked inside his teeshirt and she stroked his chest, before pulling the beanie off so she could ruffle the dark hair curling over his neck. When he sat up he watched her intently, pupils large and dark against the green, and in answer she put her hands back inside his teeshirt drawing him close enough to kiss, their lips more urgent now as his tongue found hers. Mia could only sigh again, melting everywhere at once, no words left as longing chased through her body.

 

It was as if her world had turned from monochrome to Technicolor. She worked, she went to the gym, she did her chores. Avi filled her thoughts, and during each trip home they spent as much time together as possible. Often the whole group gathered in someone’s apartment, and these were crazy times where she caught herself asking how this man, and these friends, had come into her ordered and mundane life.

Mia relaxed and with his encouragement, she drew and painted with more confidence. She saw less of Jo and Kyle as they spent more time together, but her friend was happy to see the former wall flower start to blossom. And Kevin noted the change in Avi, love songs bubbling to the surface, and a new energy in his singing. Brother’s falling, he thought, and he approved.

 

Too soon it seemed that he was gone again. Those nights Mia could not sleep, knowing that she would not wake up with his breathing regular and dark hair peeking out from under the covers beside her. She missed his morning grumpiness, and the newly minted look in his green eyes when he reluctantly opened them. One night, she was looking through the photos of Avi on her phone, and started to draw him. This was comforting, and she slept better after that. The sleepless nights became a time to draw and paint, though she kept those images hidden away. Gradually the corner of her sitting room beside the window began to resemble a studio, as she left her art things out permanently, and she lost track of the programmes she used to follow as she spent more time painting.

 

She had not counted on feeling so lonely. Single, she had been happy enough in her own company, but now only Avi could fill this space, this feeling of absence. Art helped, but the phone calls and Skype sometimes left her feeling more dissatisfied. She was crossing off the days till he came back on her calendar. 

Avi was also growing weary of the constant travelling. It went with the job, and it was the price of performing, but he needed a break from it for a while. He needed to see Mia and hold her again, and the time was coming.


	4. Decisions, decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia gets closer to Avi at last, but what happened next?

 

In May the Pentatonix tour bus came home for a whole month. Mia took some leave and was looking forward to seeing everyone, and she knew that they were all excited and in holiday mood. By now she felt like one of the family, but she longed for some time alone with Avi. She was overjoyed when he called and told her he had booked somewhere for dinner, just the two of them, and they could have the whole of the next day together too.

‘You and me, no hangers on, I promise. I have a plan.’

‘That sounds fantastic. You’ll pick me up at 7.30 then?’

‘Sure thing.’

 

She wanted to look good, and went shopping early the next day, coming home with a new dress and shoes fit only for tottering a few steps from car to restaurant. With her glossy hair casually swept back to one side and her ornate silver necklace she hoped she would not be overdressed. Nonetheless she was excited when the door bell rang. Opening the door, she noted that Avi was not wearing a beanie, and his hair had grown out over his neck in dark curls. He had swapped his normal Converse for boots teamed with black shirt and Levis, paired with the ever present leather jacket. Must be a bit more upmarket place than usual she thought. 

'I thought nothing would make you give up a beanie. They seem to be surgically attached or something.'

He paused and took in her blue dress and shining eyes, and happily wrapped her in a long embrace. Her hair smelt of apples.

‘Don't mock me when I'm making an effort! You look beautiful. You are beautiful Mia.’

She glowed with his appreciative words. ‘Thank you. You look great too.’

One kiss on her nose, which made her smile, and they went out to his car.

 

Their table was tucked away towards the back of the restaurant, and Mia was amused to see the waitress pay very close attention to Avi, listening with a smile as he ordered and watching him intently during dinner. Their knees were touching under the table as they talked, and she was very happy to let the cadences of his voice rise and fall around her, and to lose herself in those beguiling green eyes that were fixed only on her.

Avi called for the bill, and the waitress was instantly by his side. Mia knew she wanted to hear him speak again, and smiled at her widely, for after all, it was Mia he was taking home. They held hands walking back to his car, and Mia felt ridiculously happy under the stars.  Back at her place, he stood inside her door, a playful grin on his face as he looked down at her.

‘It has been a wonderful evening Miss Jones, and I hope you enjoyed it,’ he clasped his hands in front and bowed slightly. It took her a moment to realise he was joking, but she answered equally formally,

‘Oh yes, Mr Kaplan. I have had a lovely time.’

They were very close together, in the hallway again. In her heels they were almost the same height, and her hazel eyes met his in a steady gaze.

‘May I kiss you?’

‘Of course you may.’ She let him take her hands, waiting for his touch.

He kissed her on each cheek, and when he drew back to look at her his senses were alive with her scent, dark hair falling over her neck and her eyes closed. She was breathing deeply and he could not resist her parted lips. He closed his eyes and kissed her properly this time, allowing desire to guide his hands. Mia seemed to flow against him, tongue dancing around his, hands inside his shirt. He found her zipper and drew it downwards. Mia stepped back and allowed the dress to fall, never taking her eyes from his face. Need and passion sparked wordless between them, and she let him see her, unafraid. Kicking off her shoes, she took his hand and led him to her room.

 

Next morning she woke late with the weight of his arm over her. It was a good, secure feeling and they were both at ease as they drank coffee and ate toast. The sun streamed in through the window, and they ignored the clock as they explored each other again. Avi could not deny his stomach for long however, and so they eventually got up. The plan was to go back to his apartment for a change of clothes before finding some food. He ate his burger hungrily while Mia watched, sipping coffee and feeling utterly content. They wandered around after that with no particular place in mind, although at one point Mia dragged Avi into an art supplies shop where she got another sketchbook and some paints. She suggested they dropped her purchases off at home before planning the evening.

 

Back at her place, she observed Avi as he stood by the window, fixing the memory of him in her head. His longer hair curled under a grey beanie, and he was back in his customary teeshirt and black Converse. She thought he could not look more perfect. On a whim, she started taking some pictures, for drawing later, and to keep a little part of him close. He was quite patient at first, though when he grew bored with it he pulled faces at the camera, before leafing through some of her sketches. She had filled two books since she had taken up drawing again.

‘I really like these, you’re good at this. You should do more.’

‘It helps to pass the time.’ She hesitated, then went on, 'Avi- I thought I might get some leave, fly out to meet you somewhere the next time you’re gone.’

He looked troubled, a frown passing over his face for a moment. ‘I don’t know about that, it’s so manic on tour and we wouldn’t have a moment to ourselves. And then we have new songs to work on, and promotion to do. It’s crazy.’ He looked out of the window, his eyes fixed on some distant point, absent-mindedly twirling the ring on his finger.

Mia searched for the right words, her heart pounding and face hot. To her surprise, tears blurred her vision, and she looked down, letting them splash on her lap. _Where had that come from?_ But now it had started she could not stop.  She gulped air, causing Avi to look round at this new sound, and he was by her side in an instant, baffled by the sudden change in mood. She felt him wipe away a tear gently from her cheek, still more came, and her shoulders shook as she cried silently.

‘Oh, baby, please don’t cry.’

‘I just want to be with you, that’s all. I don’t want to stand in your way. I know this is your dream, and music is your life. I-'

‘But you are my dream, you are in my dreams every night, all the time I’m away, you know that.’

‘I just – I can’t – I’m not sure –' she stopped again, and was silent.

The air felt heavy  and Avi found himself tensing up, no words coming to mind. His throat felt dry and he did not trust himself to speak, his heart contracted in a knot of fear. He knelt in front of her, and tilted her chin up as he had done before. He looked at her but the tear streaked face held no answers. He forced himself to speak.

‘Mia. Baby, look at me. Tell me we can work it out. Please.’ The last word was a whisper. Avi was almost holding his breath, very still, holding her hands in his own, waiting for Mia to say something.


	5. Listening to the silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi and Mia struggle to find the right words.

Avi had no idea how long he stayed there, kneeling in front of the silently weeping girl who meant so much to him. He did not want to push for an answer he did not want to hear. As the minutes stretched out, he dropped his head and waited for the blow to come. This could only be going one way and he had to be brave.

Mia spoke then, her voice cracking. ‘That’s what I want too, for us to work things out. Let’s maybe start again?’

With that he got up and sat next to her on the couch. To his great relief she turned and laid her head on his chest, and all the words caught in his throat as he simply held her and stroked her hair, pushing it gently from her face to kiss her forehead. At this she moved to sit up, and excused herself to go to the bathroom. While she was away, Avi took a long drink from the water jug and noticed his pulse racing at his throat. He consciously slowed his breathing and felt more in control of himself. When she came back she had washed her face, and her eyes were puffy. She was as lovely as ever, but sadness hung around her. Their easy rapport was replaced by uncertainty and there was a silence in the air that neither could break.

‘I’m really tired. Think I’d like to go home now.’

‘OK, I guess we both need a rest. But we can meet up tomorrow, can’t we?’

She managed a small smile and nodded in agreement.

They drove back saying little, and as they pulled up to her block, she already had her keys in hand.

‘So – ten o’clock tomorrow then?’

‘Sure. Goodnight.’

One brief kiss on his cheek, and she was getting out of the car. Avi watched her go inside without looking back, and felt a mixture of emotions. He hoped that tomorrow would make up for the afternoon’s disappointments, but he was happy that there would be another chance for them to get close again.

 

When Kevin arrived back at their apartment later, he found Avi asleep on the sofa still wearing his jacket and hat. He set the food on the table and shook him awake.

‘Hey bro, can’t be sleeping when it’s time for eating. Thai tonight, OK?’ He thought Avi looked a little pale, but he confessed himself starving and began to attack the food without saying much. Soon after, Avi went to bed, saying he wanted to get a good rest for the next day. Kevin could not know that sleep did not come to him easily, as Mia’s pale unhappy face filled his thoughts.

 

Mia closed the door behind her feeling drained. She replayed the scene in her mind. As he had knelt in front of her, her mind was racing, but she could not explain how she felt. And when she glanced at him she saw the fear, and uncertainty in his face, mirroring her own. She had felt unsure, worried that she had made a mistake, that she was wrong about her feelings. Wrong about him. But he had said that he cared, that he wanted her, hadn’t he? So she could not explain why she felt a niggling doubt. It was hopeless.

Feeling that she needed to talk, she rang Jo but did not expect her to answer. Jo had planned on staying in with a boxset, as Kyle was out playing basketball, but hearing the sadness in Mia’s voice, she immediately went over to her friend’s place.

‘Here,’ she said, holding up a pack of her favourite cookies, ‘chocolate chip. We like these.’

Mia nodded without conviction, and Jo waited for her to begin, for once not bombarding her with questions.

‘We had the best dinner, and then – it felt we were so close, but then- I don’t know, I was saying I wanted to see more of him, and…’ she stopped as the tears came again. Jo asked,

‘What did he say?’

‘Told me that he wanted me, that I was a part of his dreams.’ Mia stopped.

‘But he didn’t say what you wanted to hear.’

‘I think he cares, but then he- it feels like he’s holding me at arm’s length and I don’t know what to think any more.’

 

She gave in to a great wave of sobs, and Jo was beside her patting her shoulder and soothing her as if she were a child woken from a bad dream. From the bag beside her, Mia pulled out a letter and showed it to Jo.

‘Go on, read it.’

The job on offer was really great, more money and responsibility, helping to set up a new office for the firm.  It was recognition for all the hard work she had put in the last two years, and would make her parents proud. It was also located across the country in a distant city.

‘Mia this sounds like a fabulous opportunity. You can still see Avi, meet up in the middle somewhere maybe.’

In answer Mia got up and started pacing.

‘That’s the point, how will we see each other?' She raised her voice. 'I’m afraid that if I go, I won’t have time to see him, we’ll both be travelling. If I stay, I still won’t have much time with him, but at least he’s only across town when he is here. I just don’t know any more.’

Jo watched her struggle to work it out.

‘Maybe it’s better this way, we’ll have a break and see what we really want.’ But she did not look happy and she stopped pacing to sit back on the sofa. Jo squeezed her hand.

‘You think this is the right way to go? Are you sure?’

‘Yes. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.’

Jo wondered what was happening to these two. She had thought they loved each other, but they didn’t seem to know it.

 


	6. A walk in the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Avi and Mia to talk.

The next day Avi rang the doorbell at ten exactly. He had arrived early for once, and he was excited about the day ahead he had planned. Things were going to be all right. When Mia opened the door, he took a moment to appreciate how good she looked in her denim skirt and ankle boots, her dark hair in a thick plait. He greeted her with a kiss on the nose like always, and surprised her by leading her not to his car but out to the bus stop.

Ignoring her questions, he dragged her onto an open top bus, where they sat on the top deck laughing as the tourists listened earnestly to the commentary and took pictures. Still, they saw parts of their own city that they never knew. Hopping off at one stop, Avi took her hand and showed her a small gallery tucked away down a side street. He sat patiently while she looked at the pictures and made some notes, sneaking a look at his phone while she did so. For her part Mia covertly sketched him, before joining him on a bench where he appeared to be studying a picture intently.

She took his arm, saying happily, ‘Do you know what that painting is all about?’

He shook his head, still looking at it. ‘No. Not a clue. But I do know something.’

‘What’s that?’

‘It’s definitely time for lunch.’

In the nearby deli he bought more food than she thought possible to eat at one time, and they headed down the street to a park. Soon they were sitting on the grass in the warm sun, watching people play and jog and rest around them. Most of the picnic was gone, and Mia finished her bottle of soda and lay back comfortably, Avi sitting next to her studying her face and drinking water.

‘Hey, you’re blocking my sun.’ A little ache formed in her stomach, nagging at her, and unconsciously she rubbed it.

‘Hey, you OK baby? Too much soda maybe.’ He took her hand and lay down next to her.

‘Maybe.’

They lay there for a while, soaking up the heat, but the ache remained. After a while she sat up and declared that maybe cake would help. They gathered up their things and went down the street into the nearest coffee shop. The barista took a shine to Avi, having him repeat the order twice, and flashed him a dazzling smile as though he was not holding hands with his girlfriend. Mia felt unaccountably irritated, even though she knew that Avi took no notice and anyway he had no control over other people’s reactions. They found a table inside and sat down with their coffee and carrot cake.

‘She was a bit friendly wasn’t she?’

‘Who?’

‘That barista.’ Her stomach felt like it was full of rocks. She certainly couldn’t eat.

‘Just doing her job, baby. That cake really looks good.’ He was unconcerned, which did not please her as much as it should have done.

‘Sure, have some, we can share.’ She pushed it over to Avi, and it seemed as if the letter materialised in her hand of its own accord. It had been calling to her and she knew she had to answer. He stopped eating and looked at her, puzzled.

‘Can you just read it please.’

The happy face vanished, replaced by a scowl. He stared at her for a long second, before looking down at the letter he had placed on the table.

‘How long have you known?’

She swallowed and replied, ‘About two weeks. I wanted to talk to you about it yesterday, but we- it-'

He broke in, his voice shaking and very low. ‘How will I see you, with all the travelling we do? I thought we wanted to be together more, not less, and have a fresh start. After yesterday- did you mean what you said?’

She could not meet his angry gaze. His hands balled into fists and she felt she needed to get away.

‘I can’t do this here, Avi. I want to go home.’

Silently they left and hailed a cab on the street, all the warmth had gone out of the day and he did not take her hand.  Standing outside her block they faced each other, an anger she had not seen before radiating from him. The green eyes glittered under his dark brows, and she dared not approach him.

‘What will you do?'

She looked down at her feet, unable to frame a reply.

'You’ve decided, haven’t you?’ He pulled the keys from his pocket. ‘Okay Mia, I see what’s happening here. You’ve made your decision. I hope it works out.’

He left her standing alone, and when she raised her head, his car was speeding away.

Mia could hardly see to open her door, and she threw herself on the bed, gasping with the pain of losing him.

 


	7. A lover and a fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not going well for Avi and Mia, and before they can try to reconcile, events take a disastrous turn.

Avi sat at an unfamiliar bar and tilted the fourth beer down his throat. He could not work out how things had come to this. He was so used to planning things, working towards the future, but this present moment eluded him. Perhaps if he retraced his steps, he could pinpoint the moment when they had left their proper path, and ended up so lost. He had been wrong about her, after all the things they said to each other. He had to move on.

But another little voice whispered, _you held back, you were afraid. You should have gone all in if you really cared about her, and now it’s over._ His anger was as much about himself as about Mia.

 

He had jumped into his car and raced away at speed, not caring which way he went, propelled by anger and sadness. He could not remember the last time he had felt so betrayed and helpless, and the hurt welled up inside like a physical wound. He wanted to howl at the moon. In front of him the lights flashed red, and he stamped on the brake. Coming to his senses, he drove on slowly until he spotted a bar on a corner. He pulled in beside it and went inside.

There were few people in the late afternoon and the bartender didn’t waste time on small talk. A TV showed the game, which one he did not know or care. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but after looking at the screen he put it down and ignored it. He had finished three beers when the phone rang again. He did not want to talk to anyone, but the phone rang repeatedly, and irritably he picked it up. It was Kevin.

‘Hey Kev. No, Mia went home, she had stuff to do. I’m in a bar, not sure –' He looked at the bartender and got the location. ‘I’m at Fletchers bar, 52nd and Lime. Sure, I’ll wait, prob'ly shouldn’t drive.’

He put the phone in his pocket again, and got another beer with a whisky chaser. The bartender watched impassively as he downed both. The pain seemed a little less with the whisky burning in his chest, and he pulled the hat down over his forehead. There were more people around him now, and he suddenly felt hot and got off the stool unsteadily.

The bartender called, ‘Hey buddy, not waiting for your ride?’

‘Jus’ need some air.’

Avi pushed out into the cool of early evening, took a deep breath and started down the street. His brain felt foggy and his tongue thick but he was warm, and he unzipped his jacket. Someone behind him tapped his shoulder.

‘Hey man, got the time?’

He carried on walking, saying, ‘Just leave me alone.’

The next thing he knew he was being pushed into an alleyway on his left, and a skinny man in a dark hoodie stood in front of him, left palm pushing against his chest while a knife danced in his right hand.

‘Okay asshole, give me your wallet, and the rest.’

He had a moment to decide, and blind instinct took over. Without thinking Avi roared at the man, letting all his rage explode he caught him with a blow to the jaw. His right hand hurt but it felt good as well, he needed to destroy this man. They traded blows, finally falling to the ground locked together. Avi’s head hit the dumpster, but though he was slightly dazed he still had the advantage looking down on his attacker. The skinny man lunged with the knife, and Avi raised his arm to protect his face. The blade sliced through his left sleeve and he felt a stinging pain in his forearm. 

Avi was still shouting but he was off balance as the attacker pushed him hard in the stomach and he fell to the ground again. There was roaring in his ears, he was unsure who was making all that noise. His breath came in short gasps and there was a sharp pain in his left side. In the wall of noise around him, he thought he heard running footsteps, voices, sirens, and his own heart beating steadily. He turned on his side to get more comfortable, and decided to lie still for a while. The ground was hard, but someone put a soft pillow under his head. He was grateful for that, and let sleep claim him.

 

Kevin was worried. All day they had not heard from Avi, and he had never known the man he called brother to drop off the grid like that, ignoring all their calls. Then again, what was he doing in some random bar drinking in the afternoon? The night before, he had seemed a little tired, but he had been excited about spending the day with Mia. Surely that wasn’t the problem? But there would be time for answers later. He drove fast but carefully, concentrating on finding Fletchers bar, and drew up behind Avi’s untidily parked car as darkness was falling.

He went into the bar but saw no sign of him, and spoke to the bartender before heading outside again. He was alerted by the sounds of a scuffle a little way ahead, and then he heard the bellow, like that of a wounded animal yet oddly familiar. Running now, he saw two men struggling in an alley to his left, one of them wearing a beanie hat. He ran towards them shouting.

‘Hey! What you doing?’

A skinny man got up and ran in the opposite direction. As Kevin reached the other man he realised it was Avi lying still on the ground next to a dumpster, breathing heavily, his eyes closed.

‘Oh no, please God, no, Avi what happened to you?’

Kevin looked his friend over, bruises and cuts trickling blood over his face, his left arm bleeding from a deep gash. He shouted as people passed the end of the alleyway.

‘Help! Call 911 right now!’

Kevin took a deep breath and started to check methodically, airway, breathing, pulse. He gasped when he lifted the jacket and saw the dark blood stain blooming on the left side. He screwed up his jacket and placed it under Avi’s head, then pressed both his hands over the wound.  Blood welled between his fingers and he felt panic rise in his chest, he couldn’t breathe, and where was the ambulance?

‘Avi, stay with me, hold on. We’re gonna fix you up, help’s coming. Just stay with me.’ He had never been so afraid.

 

After an age, the cool voice of the paramedic sounded next to him. Someone retrieved the bloody knife where it had been dropped by the attacker and it was placed in a plastic bag.

‘That’s okay sir, we’ll take over now. Do you know what happened?’ They asked various questions as they worked but all he could think of was getting Avi to the hospital. Then they loaded the stretcher into the ambulance, and Kevin followed them to Mercy Hospital.

 

Before he got out of his car, Kevin prayed. He did not know how bad it was, but he feared how bad it could be. And he had to call the others. He picked up the phone and rang Scott and Mitch. He thought Kirstie would probably be there too.

‘Scott- please just listen. Avi’s been hurt, and they took him to Mercy Hospital. You need to come now.’

He repeated his grim message to his sister Esther, but could wait no longer and went inside the emergency room. Only a few minutes later Esther rushed in, distraught, and he tried to comfort her. A doctor came out of the resuscitation room to speak with them.

‘We have to take him to theatre immediately. He sustained a head injury, he has a deep cut to his left arm, there may be tendon damage. The immediate problem is that he has lost a lot of blood from the stab wound. The knife punctured his lung and we think his spleen as well. We will lose him if we don’t operate now.’

Wordlessly Esther signed the consent form but they were not allowed to see him, instead told to go up to the relatives lounge and wait.

 

Kevin held Esther sobbing in his arms, but he was in turmoil. He just could not work out how it had come to this. They had given him Avi’s phone, evidently it had fallen to the ground during the struggle, and he saw that he had ignored all the calls that day since lunchtime. He also saw that Mia had tried to call recently, and he sighed as he realised she did not know. He got up and moved away from Esther to make the call. As he finished, Scott, Mitch and Kirstie burst in and they were all crying together, full of unanswered questions and fear. He tried to be calm, explaining briefly what he knew, and that Mia was coming.

 

Mia was sitting staring at the phone when it rang. ‘Avi, listen, I-'

‘It’s not Avi, it’s Kevin. I’m sorry Mia, but Avi’s been hurt, and you need to get over to Mercy Hospital. No don’t talk, just come, OK?’

There were no tears this time, her heart seemed to slow and turn cold as she mechanically picked up her things and got her coat. When she arrived in the relatives lounge, she saw the misery written on everyone’s face. Esther was being comforted by Kevin, and the trio huddled together on a bench, Scott stony faced while Mitch and Kirstie sobbed. She had no chance to speak before Kevin came and led her to an empty chair to one side. He explained what he knew, as Esther came over and said loudly,

‘What happened to him? You were spending the day together, you must know. Why was my brother drinking alone in a crappy part of town? Tell me!’

Mia flinched and said, ‘We- we were together till about four, then… we did have a fight, yes, but I tried to call him, I didn’t know this would happen!’

Esther stood right in front of her then, furious, and spat, ‘Well don’t worry, this is just a family matter now and you don’t look too upset anyway. You can go, and if you’ll excuse me I have to go and tell our mother that her son is fighting for his life.’ She pushed past, leaving Mia shaking under the gaze of the other four.

Mia could not face the silent accusations and turned to leave, feeling sick. Kevin held her hand briefly, and promised he would call when there was more news. She passed Esther in the corridor, crying on the phone.

 

Hours later, another doctor appeared in the lounge. Avi was still seriously ill, but he was stable and they were generally optimistic. The cut to his arm had been repaired and luckily there had been no tendon damage as the leather jacket had partly protected him. They had removed his damaged spleen and his collapsed lung was likely to improve gradually. But he was concussed after the blow to his head during the fight, and they could not say when he would regain consciousness. He advised them to go home and come back the next day.


	8. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing but tears for Mia, Esther and Pentatonix. Avi has drifted far away from them all, and they can only hope to find a way to bring him back.

Avi slept, warm and cosy, and dreamt he was a boy again. When he rubbed his chin it was smooth, and he looked down at the guitar in his hands. He smiled and started to sing along to the simple chords, concentrating on his finger positions. His voice sounded oddly high, but he was enjoying himself. There came a knock on the door but instead of his mother’s voice, he heard Mia telling him to keep it down. He screwed up his face, annoyed, and shouted back.

‘No! you can’t make me!’

He ran off dragging the guitar behind him, down a long corridor with lights coming through a half open door at the end. Stepping through the doorway, he found himself backstage in the Sing-off, with people bustling around getting ready for a performance. He had a microphone in his hand, and the rest of Pentatonix were looking for him. He spotted them calling him to go on stage, but when he tried doing vocal exercises nothing came out of his mouth. He shook his head sadly and dropped the microphone, walking away as their voices faded before going through a green door that appeared on his right. Then he was in the park again, sun shining and a few small clouds dotting the clear blue sky. He could hear music and the steady beep of sirens in the city. He decided to lie still for a while, and let sleep claim him once more.

Esther sat at his side for hours, holding his battered right hand and stroking it gently. There were so many tubes, dripping fluid into his veins, monitors beeping, leads on his chest. A large bandage swathed his left arm, and his face bore blue, purple, yellow bruises stark against his pale skin. What had he been thinking? Always so careful, he had obviously made some kind of mistake. She blamed that girl, he was so besotted with her and yet she had hurt him so badly that he wasn’t thinking straight.

She wasn’t sure how to deal with the fans either, wild rumours were circulating about his absence but they had kept his location quiet so far. The last thing Avi needed was crazy outpourings of grief and people tweeting photos. She fished his ipod out of her pocket. Someone had said that people could still hear even when apparently unconscious, so she set it on shuffle and placed the earbuds in his ears. Then she lifted the oxygen mask and rubbed some chapstick on his dry lips. She kissed his forehead as Kevin arrived, and went home for a shower and to try and rest.

 

Scott had none of his usual swagger as they walked down the corridor towards his friend’s room. He knew he must try not to freak out when he saw the wires and tubes and machinery, and worst of all Avi lying still in the bed, because that would just make Mitch worse and he’d already cried till he was hoarse. That first night had been awful, and the next day he had been consumed by a terrible thought. What if he didn’t recover, or couldn’t get back to his usual self? What would become of Pentatonix and their dreams of a life in music? It was horrible but he could not stop thinking about it, finally confessing his thoughts to Mitch. He just looked shocked, practically shouting that it was all going to be okay and how could he think that way, before crumpling into fresh tears. Meanwhile a hollow eyed Kirstie fretted over Kevin, who was the one holding them all together, but who had to be reminded to eat and sleep.

After he had rested a little and reconsidered, Scott resolved to focus on getting Avi better. He didn’t know about hospitals but he knew what was important to them all, what bound them together before they were family. The trio filed into the room and started to sing quietly, starting with their earliest songs from the Sing-off. It was shaky at first, but they managed two songs before Kirstie started to sob with her hands over her face, which started Mitch too. Then they gathered around the bed again holding hands for comfort, and talked to him about the day, and the new song they planned to arrange, as soon as he woke up. They finished with a couple of songs from Chicago. He did not respond.

 

Kevin and Esther were both with him the next day. Under the oxygen mask his beard had grown scruffy and Kevin produced electric clippers from his pocket.

‘Now Avi, this beard won’t do bro. I know you’d hate to look like this, so I’m going to tidy you up OK?’ Kevin talked quietly as he worked.

‘I have a new song, but I’m a bit stuck on the third verse, and I really need you to help me with it. Please. I’m begging you.’ Kevin stopped, his eyes full of tears. He was so tired and worried and there was nothing more he could say. Esther left after an hour, pleading a meeting with the management team, and said she would be back next day. Kevin used this opportunity to phone Mia.

‘Hey. No, he didn’t wake up yet. Look, Esther has gone till tomorrow now, so this would be a good time to come.’

When Mia arrived a bare half hour later, she hugged Kevin,  grateful for his support.

‘You’re the only one on my side,’ she said sadly.

‘That’s not true. Esther is just worried sick, obviously, and we still don’t know how long this will go on for.’ He stopped and swallowed hard, then wiped his eyes and said simply,

‘Go to him. He needs you.’

Mia stood on his right side, weeping openly. She stared at the marks and cuts on his face and hands, the bandage still swathing his left arm, the drip. She felt her chest close in and couldn’t breathe. Softly she lifted the oxygen mask and kissed him on the lips, then kissed his forehead. Her tears splashed on his face, and she wiped them away gently. He smelled of hospital, this was all wrong.

‘Oh, Avi, Avi, what did they do to you? What did you do? I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.’ She and Kevin took up their positions on either side of the bed, and as her tears fell, she kissed his hand over and over.

‘Why doesn’t he wake up?’

She looked at Kevin, who shook his bowed head, and after a while he took her home.

 

Avi was back in the park, warm in the sun. Somewhere his favourite music was playing, and he smiled to himself. A cloud passed over the sun, dark against his closed eyes, and a few drops of rain fell. It didn’t last though, and as he lay on the grass he thought he heard songs from some damn musical. Suppose the trio are around somewhere he thought wryly, he tried to lift his head to see but couldn’t. He felt so heavy, his left arm was twice its size, why was that? And his stomach ached. He rubbed it, like he had done some time before, or was that Mia? It was all mixed up, and his mouth was dry. He tried to speak but nothing came out. Time to go find some water, if only he could move. The sun was dropping in the sky, and it was time to leave the park and go home.

 

Three days had passed since the operation. Avi was never left alone for long, and they all sang and talked to him every day, leaving his ipod playing between times. Although he was breathing well and the oxygen mask had been removed, still he did not respond. Suddenly Esther gasped, and Kevin looked up as she jumped up and bent over him closely.

‘I think- I think he moved his hand. He tried to squeeze my hand.’ She hardly dared to breathe, willing him to connect with her, gently stroking his hand. Her heart leapt when she felt the tiniest pressure answering hers.

‘Avi. I’m here, Esther, and Kevin’s here. Can you hear me?’

Finally Avi opened his eyes, watery and blinking in the bright lights, and Esther was crying and kissing him.

‘Avi, at last, thank God.’ Kevin lowered his head, and prayed gratefully.

‘Thank you Lord, for taking care of him, for letting him return.’

He grabbed his phone and ran outside to text everyone the glad news, _he’s awake_. While he was out Esther called the nurse and soon there was a buzz of activity around the bed. They were sent away until the next day but they watched from the window, hugging each other and crying with relief. He had come back to them.


	9. Back to life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi finds his way back.

 

The park was gone, the sun had set and it was dark. Or was this a dream? He tried to speak and sit up, finding his limbs leaden and stiff. A clean, sharp pain shot through his left side when he tried to move, so he lay still. First moving his legs, then his right hand, he touched his face, feeling unfamiliar bumps and sore patches, and were those stitches above his eye? His left arm felt huge and tender and the fingers would not move. How could he play the guitar like this? Perhaps he had been in an accident. He vaguely remembered driving fast across the city, unsure why he would do that. His mouth and throat were so, so dry. He had to have water. He tried to shout for water.

 

Esther was there, straining to hear the words that barely escaped his lips as a low pitched groan.

‘Avi, sweetheart, don’t move, I’m right here.’

 His eyes flickered open but could not focus and a tear ran down the side of his face. Esther’s face was a dark blur as she brought the beaker over to his lips. A few drops only, but he wanted more. His lips moved but he made no sound. What the hell was going on here? He sank back, exhausted by his efforts, and soon slept again, but this time no dreams came.

 

The next day Avi woke to hear Kevin talking. He was telling Kirstie that regaining memory after a concussion was often patchy, and he might not get everything back from that day. Seeing him open his eyes, Kirstie hugged him carefully and kissed his cheek. The bandage on his left arm had been replaced by a smaller dressing, and he lifted it a little trying to coax the puffy fingers to move. They let him eat a pudding, though he felt weak as a kitten.

Kirstie began to feed him, saying playfully, ‘Here comes the choo-choo train!’ as she offered him a spoonful.

He saw something in the way she looked at him, as though they were meeting after a long absence, and relief, and where was Mia? After that, he turned to Kevin, attempting to smile but even his face ached.

‘Kevin. Tell me what happened.’

He saw the look pass between his friends, and he felt angry. He had a right to know, his side hurt and he was so hoarse, his own voice sounded like a stranger in his ear. He had so many questions.

Kevin looked at him, knowing that he felt confused and unhappy. He was not sure that Avi was ready to hear it, but they had always been honest with each other and decided to tell what he knew.

‘Do you remember much?’

‘We went to the park- went home in a cab, I drove off. That’s all.’ He held Kevin’s gaze, but it was an effort.

‘That was five days ago. You’ve been unconscious.’

Avi’s face was a picture of shock, but Kevin had to go on with the story.

‘We think you and Mia argued about something and you were upset. You went to a bar on 52nd, had a few drinks there and someone jumped you on the street outside. He stabbed you, and if I hadn’t gotten there then, well…’ his voice trailed off.

Avi became agitated.

‘What do you mean, argued? Drinking on 52nd, I don’t even know that place, that can’t be right!’ He had a sudden flash of seeing a knife, and his heart rate spiked on the monitor, prompting the nurse to come in and send them away. It hurt, his side, his heart, Mia?  She injected something into his drip, and everything faded to black.

 

Over the next few days he tried to piece it together. As the tubes and dressings were removed he felt stronger, though his voice was still different. He found out about his surgery, and looked down at the small wound when they changed his dressing in wonder. The physical therapist came and forced him to walk a couple of steps, and he tried to do his breathing exercises. But there was no sign of Mia. He thought then that it must be true, she had left him, and during the long nights he cried out for her silently. There was so much he should have said.

 

The days dragged and Mia did not dare go back to the hospital for fear of meeting Esther again. The nights crept by even more slowly, but she could no longer bear to draw him as she had before. She watched old movies and drank water all night. She relied on Kevin to tell her how things were going, and one time he even sent a photo of them together, once Avi was strong enough to sit up. But like Skype had done, this only made her feel more distant from him and she did not know how to resolve things. She was going in to work but not achieving anything, and she spent more than one evening with Jo, who kept her supplied with hot chocolate and let her cry herself to sleep.

One day Kevin arranged to come by her place after visiting time, and they drank coffee sitting at the table. They were both exhausted and Mia had dark circles under her eyes. She had put away most of the pictures and art equipment again, art was no comfort.

‘How is he now?’

‘Oh he’s good, you know, better every day. He remembers more. He remembers you, and he wonders why you aren’t there. I think he’s giving up, he thinks it’s all over between you. So – assuming it isn’t - I think it’s time you saw him again. I know Esther is away for the whole day tomorrow, so why don’t you go around ten?’

Her heart leapt, and she met Kevin’s eyes, saw the silent appeal there; do what’s right. After he had gone home to rest, she paced restlessly. She cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, her brain racing, until she was tired enough to sleep a little. In her dreams she tried to catch a green butterfly that fluttered just out of reach, chasing it across fields and forests.

 

Just before ten the next day, Mia walked down the corridor slowly, her dark hair escaping from its bun where she ran her fingers nervously through it over and over. Her heart was beating hard, but she was sure about coming here. Not that it was easy. She had given up on makeup, hands too shaky to apply eyeliner, and she had rehearsed her words, but what if they came out wrong? She paused outside the door then took a deep breath, pushed the door open and walked over to him, finding him awake and watching her calmly. All the tubes and monitors were gone, the bruises faded against his pale skin, a trace of a black eye remaining.  Surprisingly, his beard was trimmed neatly as usual.

She felt a warm glow, an urge to touch his face, ruffle his hair and feel his arms envelop her again. At first hesitant, her hazel eyes searched his face before settling on the green eyes she knew so well.  He looked familiar and her doubts fell away.

‘Mia.’ His first word, deeper than usual and a little scratchy, still wrapped itself around her like velvet, and her pulse skipped a beat. She could not stop smiling at him.

‘Well, hello. You woke up.’

He cleared his throat, taking her right hand in both of his and the words came out in a rush.

‘Mia. Just listen. I thought I lost you. I wanted to say something. I have to tell you. I should have told you that day, but I was so angry, because the thought of losing you hurt so much. Whatever I said, I’m sorry. I love you, Mia Jones, and that won’t change wherever you are, and whatever you do, my love will go with you always.’ He closed his eyes then, feeling a sense of calm relief descend on him, knowing that he had spoken his truth, and he would accept her decision.

 

Mia felt as though her heart would burst out of her chest. She got up and sat on the side of the bed facing her man, her love, and kissed him on the tip of the nose, and as he closed his eyes she kissed his mouth and then both cheeks. She cupped his face in her hands and looked him in the eye.

‘I am the one who is sorry, for everything that happened, for hurting you. I love you Avriel Kaplan. That’s all I have to say.’ The rest of her speech was forgotten as he reached for her heedless of his wounds, and embraced her, breathing in the scent of apples from her hair like he remembered, never wanting to let go. They sat entwined for a long time, not speaking. It felt like coming home.

Kirstie looked down at the shopping bag in her hand, feeling very happy. To have Avi back and recovering was a miracle. She and Mitch had gone to the mall, and found the perfect get well gift. In the shop Mitch had done his best diva impression as he modelled the leather jacket, and they had laughed together like the old times, before the darkness of the past few days. She was sure he would love it and couldn’t wait to see him.

Scott was his old self joking and teasing her as usual, feeling happy and relieved and thankful all at once. It had been one of his better ideas he thought. They had sung Avi back to life, and Pentatonix was whole again.

As the four friends saw the couple through the window, Kevin commented, ‘I’d say get a room, but they already did! Time to break it up.’

They crowded into the room, prompting Avi and Mia to draw apart reluctantly and face the sudden burst of excited noise. There was Mitch posing with the jacket draped over his shoulder and trilling a little song, while Kirstie and Scott produced doughnuts from another bag and Kevin took photos, grinning the whole time.

Kirstie watched Avi fondly. There was no hiding the love written on his face, and everything he needed was right there in that room.


	10. Coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is finally time for Avi to leave hospital, much to the dismay of his nurses. News is spreading, what exit strategy will they use?

Avi groaned and reluctantly opened his eyes. Hospital days started far too early for his liking, and they dragged sometimes if he couldn’t drop off to sleep again. He looked out at the early morning sun slanting through the window blinds to his right, and to his left he could see increasing activity in the corridor outside his room. He shifted his weight in bed as a tall nurse in pink scrubs pushed open the door.

‘Hey, Avi, how are you doing? It’s another lovely morning isn’t it?’

He smiled as she set down a fresh jug of water and a handful of envelopes.

‘Yes it is, and all the better for seeing you.’

‘You say the nicest things to a girl. More cards for you, and more people asking about you, but of course I pretended I didn’t know who you were. We have you under the name Steven Chapman so that’s helped. Those people sure are persistent.’

‘Thanks Sarah. I hope I’ll be getting out soon and out of your hair.’

Sarah thought privately that she was absolutely fine with having him there, but that was another matter. ‘But then who will brighten our day when their visitors break into song?’

‘Not sure. But when I feel better we’ll come back and sing for you all.’

‘You promise?’

‘I really do.’

‘You better. Or I will hunt you down and bring a very large needle with me.’

He made a mock grimace before returning her smile. She finished checking the charts and waved goodbye.

‘They’ll bring breakfast soon, sadly not waffles and bacon, but enjoy.’

She was still thinking about him several patients later, wondering whether he was dating one of the dark haired girls who visited every day. She replayed how it felt to look into those green eyes and hear him say her name, but the sound of an alarm broke into her thoughts and she headed off to room four. Her boyfriend thought she was safe at the hospital because it was full of old people, and it was a bore when he got jealous so she had not mentioned this particular patient and his friends. She was just happy to have morning shifts now that he was awake, and she could find reasons to go and chat with him.

 

The hospital room had filled up with cards, flowers and soft toys. There were teddy bears, dragons of all colours, and even one or two Avi dolls made with love. Esther and the team had done their best to manage the flow of information, but it proved impossible to keep everything private. They had decided to release carefully worded statements over social media each day, but the exact details thankfully remained hidden. It was put out as an auto accident, and once they had spoken with the staff on the ward, the inevitable phone calls and enquiries could be deflected.

The next thing was to plan for Avi’s homecoming, which the doctors thought would be happening in the next day or two. Mia had visited twice more, avoiding Esther with Kevin’s help and they texted through the day, but even that was an effort for him sometimes. They both found saying goodbye difficult, and Mia had to try hard not to cry when she saw him. The previous evening, when it was time to leave, she clung to Avi and felt rather than heard him murmuring her name, as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

‘When will we be together again?’ she asked.

‘Very soon. They say two days maybe. I can’t wait that long, but we have to.’

‘I know. Maybe you could wear a nurse uniform and sneak in.'

‘Oh I don’t think so. For one thing, they don’t like the nurses in bed with the patients. And for another, you are not up to any kind of mischief yet.’ She stood up still holding his hand, edging away infinitely slowly from the mute appeal in his face. Her heart beat steadily as she hesitated; stay, go, stay, go.  Tears filled her eyes and she managed one more smile and turned away to leave.

The night nurse Janey passed Mia in the corridor and popped her head round the door.

‘Everything OK? How’s the pain?’

He looked ragged, and unable to muster a smile. ‘I could use a tablet, if it’s time.’

She nodded at Avi and thought again that he reminded her of her son, who was abroad. Perhaps that was why she wanted to hug him and say everything would be alright; instead she protected him from the increasing number of calls and fake visitors. She would have done the same for Tyler, but a soldier didn’t need protection.

 

After breakfast, which he thought was less than wonderful, Avi took a shower, feeling his muscles relaxing in the heat and steam. His hair lay long against his neck and the bruises were less noticeable. He checked the wound on his left forearm and flexed the fingers and wrist that still felt a bit swollen and stiff, while the knuckles on the right hand looked almost normal apart from some red grazes. Finally he took a deep breath before inspecting the wound on the left of his abdomen. It was still sore when he moved, but he could cope with the help of some painkillers. There were so many questions in his mind, and try as he might he could not recall the fight and stabbing. Perhaps it was just as well, he had to focus on recovering, and his sleep was erratic, leaving him fighting fatigue during the day.

One time Janey had come in to offer him a sleeping tablet, but he refused even though the nights went so slowly, and there was too much time to think about how much he missed his friends and family. Thinking about Mia and how close he had come to death disturbed his rest, and more than once he offered grateful prayers. His ipod was his best friend, but he could not settle to his usual favourites. Only choral music soothed his soul and kept the tears at bay.

He dried himself and got dressed in a teeshirt and sweats, slightly alarmed to find he could not balance on one leg. He had to sit down to get finished, his breathing faster than he would like and he was glad to get back to his chair. He wouldn’t miss this room, though the staff had been lovely. He just wanted to get out of hospital and back to normal life. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the chair, and drifted off.

Esther peeped through the window half an hour later, as she usually did before going in to see her brother, and seeing him dozing, felt sad to wake him. He looked better every day, though his face was a little thin and she thought he was often tired. Kirstie and Scott were due any minute, and she wanted a moment alone with him.

‘Hey Avi, sorry to wake you.’

He jumped at the sound of her voice, but smiled as they hugged tightly. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

‘Did you sleep last night? Look like you need some more.’

‘Oh, you know me. Always need more sleep, and I really miss food.’ He grinned as she handed him a bag and steaming cup. ‘I love you so much at this moment, I could kiss you.’

As he got started on his breakfast sandwich, she replied, ‘Glad you like it. We need to plan your exit from here. People are waiting outside and word is getting out, so we have to sort it. The fans want to know you’re back.’

Avi made a face and took a long gulp of tea. ‘So good. Well, I love the fans, but I am not up to all that right now.’ He looked unsure and almost afraid for a moment, and Esther touched his arm lightly. It couldn’t be an easy prospect.

‘It’ll be fine, we will work it out, I promise. Scott has a brilliant idea.’

‘Of course I do, they’re my specialty!’ Scott and Kirstie swept in, and she immediately wrapped her arms around Avi's shoulders and kissed him on both cheeks.

‘How’s my Avi today? Need any more food, cause we have donuts to go with that coffee.’

‘Better now. You have to get me out of here before I starve from lack of ribs and burgers.’

Scott grinned and said, ‘I have an idea about that. We’re already having to sneak in because there are fans camped outside the hospital. When people find out you’re coming out twitter will likely explode, and I’m guessing you don’t want to have to deal. So, this is what we’re going to do.’

Avi listened to Scott as he outlined the plan, and didn’t argue with any of the details. He felt exhausted again and wanted to lie down, preferably with Mia next to him, but kept that thought to himself. He knew it would not play well with Esther who, keeping a close eye on him had already spotted his fading energy. She and Kirstie packed away the cards and gifts, leaving the flowers, and she pulled at Scott’s shoulder.

‘OK, you guys, time to let him rest. We’ll be back tomorrow Avi, bright and early. Be ready.’

 

Finally the day dawned, after a fitful sleep in which Avi dreamed of a dark hooded figure who eluded him as he followed him around a strange city, where huge forest trees suddenly sprang up in his way until he was caught in a thicket of branches and roots. As a hand gripped his shoulder he woke, heart pounding and his mouth dry, alone in the dark and aching to be safe in bed with Mia again. He was equal parts happy to be leaving and fearful of what was to come, and it was an uncomfortable mix of feelings.

He showered early and dressed, accepting the painkillers left by Janey the night nurse. She gave in to her mothering instinct and hugged him, warning him to take things easy when he got home. When Sarah came on duty she went straight to his room.

‘Morning. Are you ready to leave us?’

‘Well, I would be lying if I said no, but I will miss all of you. You’ve taken such good care of me, and I am truly grateful.’

‘Thank you, you’re welcome. I’m holding you to your promise though.’

Avi put his hand on his heart, and said seriously, ‘I promise, Sarah. Cross my heart.’

She felt her pulse quicken at the sound of her name rumbling in his signature bass, and dropped her gaze while she pulled her phone out of her pocket. When she looked up he was still looking at her with a small smile.

Before she could speak he said, ‘Sure. Just don’t tweet it till I’m long gone, okay?’

She nodded her agreement and took three photos of them together, just to be sure, and decided she should probably get on with some work. When she passed the room later, he was drinking water with his earphones plugged in, and staring out of the window at the cloudy sky. She was going to miss this one.

 

Over the next hour, Kevin, Esther and Scott arrived separately. Scott brought another person with him, who grinned at Avi and introduced himself as Jake.

‘Hi, it’s great to meet you. This is going to be a lot of fun, I hope.’

Avi looked uncertain, replying, ‘I hope it’s going to work. But at this point I’m willing to do anything to get out of here.‘

‘Anything? That’s tempting fate bro. But, seeing as you’re weak from lack of food, I’ll go easy on you this time.’ Kevin was smiling, and Avi shook his head, his ponytail bobbing.

‘Shall we go?’ Esther passed Avi a pair of black framed glasses and a surgeon’s hat, tucking the ponytail inside for him. Jake got a PTX beanie to top off his check shirt and leather jacket.

Avi nodded his approval and said, ‘You look good man.’

‘Thanks, I grew the beard specially but I don’t sound like you though.’

‘I am grateful, because frankly you look more like me than I do. Which is the idea I suppose.’

‘Scrubs suit you, you totally look like a surgeon. Just keep moving.’

 

At the front of the hospital shortly after, fans surged forward as Esther and Scott emerged to a flurry of photos and placards bearing get well wishes. They told the waiting crowd that Avi had already left, and he would post a message when he could, as Scott signed autographs and posed for pictures. A car drew up and to the fans’ delight Kirstie and Mitch got out and joined in with the crowd, accepting gifts and cards, and easing the disappointment of not seeing Avi.

 At the side entrance meantime, a much smaller group of fans saw Kevin emerge carrying a small case, accompanied by the one they had been hoping to see in a PTX beanie and jacket. They walked quickly over to a waiting car, but had not got very far before the first running fans reached them. Jake turned and smiled at the girls, enjoying their confusion.

‘Hi, I’m Jake. Kevin gave me this hat, isn’t it awesome?’

One girl started to cry, which set off several others. Kevin raised his hand for quiet.

‘Sorry you guys, Avi already left. He’ll be sending everyone a message soon, and I’ll take your gifts and cards for him okay?’

‘You tricked us!’ Another girl shrieked at him, her friends pulling her back.

Kevin looked kindly at her tear streaked face.

‘What’s your name? Carla, look Avi has been through a lot and he’s on strict orders from the doctor to rest. He is grateful for all the love you’ve sent him and he will be telling all of you himself very soon. Give me your card and I promise he will get it and reply to you.’

She passed over her card and nodded, wiping her eyes. ‘Will you autograph this for me then?’

Suddenly Kevin was surrounded by people pushing pens and photos and posters at him, and he signed them all with a smile while Jake posed with a few people as he called himself Almost Avi. It was the most exciting day of his life, and much better than working as a hospital porter.

‘Do you think I’ll be on twitter?’ he asked Kevin when they finally got into the hire car and drove away.

‘Oh, you can count on it. Our fans are dedicated and they will want to let people know what happened. I hope they forgive us, but it had to be done, cause they’d have been all over him and he’s not that strong yet.’

 

While the cameras were popping, a group of hospital staff in scrubs wandered out of the staff entrance at the end of their shift, talking as they moved toward the car park. A dark car was waiting, and a bespectacled man got in. The others carried on walking, and the car drove away. Mia looked in the rear view mirror at Avi, slumped with relief in the back seat.

 

‘You really do look like a doctor.’ 


	11. A clean getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi is out of hospital, and Esther keeps a close watch on him.

 

Mia drove slowly across town to her apartment. The plan was for Avi to stay with Esther, before they went home to their parents to rest and escape the spotlight, but first she had to have a little time alone with him. They made their way up to her apartment, and she found herself slowing to match his pace. Once she had him settled on the sofa, she brought him strong coffee and sat next to him. He had taken off the glasses and hat, revealing dark circles under his eyes and healing cuts red against the paleness of his skin. He looked almost ghostly, and there was a knot in her throat as she saw the toll events had taken on him.

He drank coffee while she watched him, neither speaking. She didn’t know how much he remembered, and he seemed too fragile to bring up the past events. He finished the coffee and set down the mug, before taking her hand and kissing her cheek.

She said softly, ‘Hello you.’

‘Hello you too. I didn’t know you were a getaway driver.’

‘Oh, I have many skills and talents, that you don’t know about yet.’

His smile turned into a grimace when he tried to shift his weight towards her. She was immediately worried, the urge to hold him tempered by fear of hurting him, so she stood up still holding his hand.

‘Come on, we don’t have much time.’

He edged to the front of the sofa and kicked off his shoes before standing up, his left hand pressed to his abdomen, breathing shallowly. They made their way to the bedroom and Avi lay back on top of the bed, his eyes closed. Mia lay down next to him on his right, her hand stroking his face gently.

‘That feels better,’ he murmured, and she cuddled closer to him, her fingers never leaving his face, caressing his temples, cheeks and mouth. He kissed her fingers, and his breathing settled to an even rhythm.

A few minutes later she eased herself away and sat on the end of the bed, watching him sleep. She knew they should really be going to Esther’s house, and she also knew that she and Esther would have to face each other sometime. At this moment, all that mattered was that she had Avi back, and he was safe. Around forty minutes later, her doorbell rang and she let Kevin in.

‘Thought you’d be here. Where’s my man?’

‘Asleep, he’s done in. He needs to regain his strength, every little thing seems to pain him.’

Kevin nodded and took Mia’s hand. ‘I am so sorry to do this to you guys, but we really have to go, or there will be hell to pay with Esther. There is a timetable to follow –'

‘I know.’ She wiped away the tears that filled her eyes, and went back to the bedroom where he lay in the unfamiliar green scrubs, his feet bare. Kneeling next to him, she placed a hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall, his heart beat strong and steady.

‘Avi. Avi, wake up sweetheart. Time to go.’

His eyelids fluttered and he looked at her, eyes unfocussed before he realised where he was, he smiled then and she leaned over to kiss him gently.

‘Not a dream. I’m really here with you.’ They gazed at each other for a long moment.

‘You are, but now it’s time to go, gotta stick with the plan. Kevin’s here for you, and I don’t have your painkillers, and I know you need them.’ She got up as he eased himself off the bed before walking through to the living room. Kevin grinned broadly at him and enveloped him in a gentle hug.

‘It’s so good to have you back, nobody understands food like you do bro. Esther’s waiting, we can go to the drive thru on the way. You know you want to.’

‘Food sounds good. Only one thing missing though.’

‘I know, I know. I’ll give you a minute.’ Kevin caught Mia up in a bear hug till she squealed.

‘We did it, we got him out! I’ll see you soon,’ and he was out of the door.

Avi and Mia stood in the hall and he took both of her hands in his.

‘We’ll talk soon.’ He looked down, his heart full but no words coming, tears escaping his closed eyes as he took deep breaths. Mia took a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at his cheeks, before holding him close, stroking his back and feeling his head resting against her shoulder.

‘It’s okay.’

‘Not. Okay.’ He whispered into her hair, barely audible. She stepped back and opened the door, where Kevin waited checking his phone outside.

He handed Avi his sunglasses and said lightly, ‘Maybe you should rock the ponytail more often. Food’s calling, gotta go.’ He winked at Mia, who nodded, biting her lip as she watched them walk away.

 

Driving over to Esther’s house, Kevin stole an occasional glance at his friend, who winced at every bump in the road and had not buckled his seat belt. He slowed down, and kept talking.

‘I think everyone should be there by now. She plans to leave on Monday, so that gives you a couple days to relax, your mom can’t wait to see you. I’ve got your bag in the back, so you can get dressed properly, and looks like you’re due some meds.’

‘Kev. Just get me there already.’

He made one detour for cheeseburgers, before pulling up outside Esther’s house. As he had predicted, the other cars were parked outside, and he pulled the bag out of the back seat as Avi made his way up to the front door and rang the bell. The door swung open and they followed Kirstie in to find Scott and Mitch in the living room. They both got up and all five immediately went into their usual group huddle. Kevin said a few quiet words of thanks, that they were all together again and that Avi was safe.

 

Esther brought coffee out of the kitchen, and waited for her turn to embrace him before he sat at the table with the cheeseburger in front of him. It was easier than sitting on the low sofa, but he only picked at the burger, preferring to drink water. Two pills appeared next to his coffee cup, and he swallowed them under Esther’s watchful eye.

He felt that everyone was looking at him, and he was irritated, but that was soon followed by a feeling of shame. These were his closest friends and family, they loved him and wanted the best for him, but he was tired and in pain, and it made him prickly. He took a deep breath and tried to relax, sipping coffee as Scott and Mitch chatted.

‘Well, was that a brilliant plan or what? I think it worked so well, like something out of a movie! ‘

‘Yeah, it was like the great escape or something. Twitter is blowing up already, but I think they’ll get over it. Avi needs to post something- not right away though-‘

Kirstie cut in, ‘I think the main thing is for you to rest and get back to normal.’ She went over to stand behind Avi and hug his shoulders, but found him tense. She and Esther exchanged looks, and it was not long before the trio said their goodbyes, followed by Kevin, leaving the two siblings alone.

He stared out of the window at the early afternoon sun while she cleared away the burger that he had only nibbled at.

‘More coffee?’

He shook his head wearily and pulled the band from his ponytail, running his fingers through his hair.

‘Fine. The spare bed’s made up for you, I’ll bring your bag through.’ She heard him brush his teeth, and when she brought in a jug of water he was already asleep on his back and snoring softly, the covers pulled right up to his neck. Esther watched him sleep for a moment. There would be time for questions and answers later, but for now she quietly drew the curtains and closed the door behind her, before getting back to the laptop. There was a lot to do.

 

The sun was low in the sky when Avi opened his eyes, surfacing from a deep and dreamless sleep. He rolled carefully on his right side before sitting up, and drained the water jug in one swallow. He felt better, but hunger nagged at his stomach, since all he had eaten was a small hospital breakfast many hours ago. Returning from the bathroom, he pulled off the scrubs and rummaged in the bag for a tee and sweats, before going through to the living room.

Esther looked out from the kitchen. ‘Hey, you got some rest?’

‘Yes, and something smells good.’

She smiled at him. ‘Nothing fancy, I haven’t had time to shop really, but I thought you’d like some home cooked food after the hospital, and mom will worry if you look this thin when we get home. It’s just a chilli. No, don’t move, I’ll bring you a drink.’

He was content to sit back on the sofa and drink the coffee accompanied by a donut from a selection that Kirstie had left for him, but made a mental note to choose an upright chair next time. When he tried to get up from the sofa his wound pulled and a sharp pain made him gasp; he tried to brace his muscles but they seemed like jelly, and it took a few tries to move comfortably using his arms for support.

His sister brought the food through, and he momentarily forgot his pain as he attacked the bread before piling his plate high. Esther watched him with a small smile, this was more like him. She placed the bottle of pills by his glass.

‘These are yours, and you have to take penicillin every day as well. You can get refills when we get back home, but the pharmacy gave you a good supply for now.’

‘I can’t believe I have to take pills every day for life.’ He shook his head before swallowing two painkillers.

‘Small price to pay, Avi. It could have been much worse.’ They both fell silent at that. Esther took a deep breath.

‘What do you remember?’

Avi refilled his water glass and sipped, his eyes fixed on the empty plate. He didn’t want to go back, he felt there was probably nothing good there, but some part of him was eager to fill in the gaps. 

‘I was in the park with Mia. Something happened, on the way home, and I was driving but she wasn’t there. And then it’s all mixed up. Someone behind me, but that feels like a dream, and then the hospital, and you were there. And the guys singing?’ He shook his head again. ‘I know Kevin trimmed my beard. There was that nice nurse Sarah, she used to make sure the ipod was charged. I suppose they gave me heavy pain meds. I can’t figure some of it out.’

‘Do you want to hear what happened?’

His hands gripped the glass but he remained silent.

‘You did have a day with Mia, and you two had some kind of fight. You stopped taking calls, drove across town to some bar, and after you had a few drinks there Kevin was coming to pick you up. Before he got there, you left the bar and someone jumped you outside. For some unknown reason you decided to fight back instead of just giving him your goddamn wallet, and he could have killed you.’ Esther stopped, breathing fast, and tears sparkling in her eyes. She wiped them away with her hand.

‘You were unconscious for three whole days after the surgery from a concussion. We played your favourite music and sang to you.’ The tears streamed down her face, and dripped from her chin onto the table.

The strain of the last week was etched on her face when Avi finally looked up, and he felt his throat thicken and close. His words were barely audible.

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all this pain.’ He got up carefully and stood behind her, hands on her trembling shoulders, and kissed the top of her head.

‘I know how lucky I am, to have family like all of you. And you especially, you were there when I woke up, I remember that. I –‘

Esther stood up and hugged him lightly, both crying now. Eventually she let her brother go, and managed a small smile.

‘I think we both need a drink, and I’ll clear this stuff away.’ She busied herself with the table, while Avi made coffee for them both. He felt raw and full of mixed emotions, and not in control of himself. He wanted to see Mia before they left, but the thought only made him feel sad. When they were back at the table Avi decided to broach the subject.

‘Just run the travel plan by me again?’

‘Well, you can’t fly for a few more weeks after the collapsed lung, so we’re driving. Should be able to do it in a day, with breaks for you of course. I thought Monday, or maybe Tuesday at latest. Hopefully you’ll be up to recording a little message for the fans, they’re going wild after the switch we pulled at the hospital.’

Avi chuckled at this. ‘Yeah, I can do that. I want to see the guys again before we go, and Mia of course.’

Esther immediately bristled, and snapped, ‘I think Mia has done enough. This is about family now.’

‘Esther.’

She rushed on, ‘If it wasn’t for her none of this would have happened. Whatever it was, seems like she started it and if Kevin hadn’t come for you –'

‘Esther. People fight. I have to learn how to make up. I got angry, and I made a mistake. I did.’

‘But it was Mia who made you mad. You must have have been crazy to get into a drunken fight.’

‘Yes I can see that, but still. I am crazy about her. I have to make it right, and I’m not sure what really happened because we haven’t talked much, but we are going to make it right together.’

‘After all this? You nearly died!’ She had raised her voice, but he remained calm, his gaze steady.

‘Yes, and I thank God I didn’t, and I thank God for all the love people have shown me. And I thank God for Mia, because I love her. That’s all there is to it.’ Esther stared at her brother, his quiet certainty, and her anger deflated in the face of the truth she saw in his face.

‘This is the real deal?’

He nodded, smiling. It felt like an important piece of the puzzle had dropped into place, even though so much was still unclear.

‘This is the real deal. I could use a rest now. This talking is pretty intense.’ He went back to his room, water jug in hand.

Esther washed her face with cold water, and she felt calmer. She would have to make peace with Mia, because she wanted Avi to be happy and she was the woman he had chosen. They had got on so well before all this happened; but if she hurt him again, there would be trouble.


	12. Face the music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are difficult conversations ahead for Avi, Esther and Mia; time to face up to some truths.

Mia hummed to herself as she showered and dressed, then braided her hair in a thick plait. There had to be a chance to see Avi again before he left, and she sent a text as early as she dared. He replied straight away, and she was glad to see the brief message telling her to come over at three. That gave her time to get ready, and she set off on the first of her errands.

At Esther’s house Avi rested on the bed after breakfast, but was soon woken by Kevin who was excited about new songs he was working on. Kirstie and Mitch arrived next, both wanting hugs and bickering good naturedly about who would sit next to Avi and hold his hand.

In the end Mitch waved Kirstie away, saying, ‘It’s my turn, I never get to hold hands with him.’ He inspected the scar on Avi's forearm with distaste before patting his hand and moving away. ’Sorry sweetie, that makes me feel quite ill. You’ll have to rub vitamin E on it or something, or it will be too ugly. Please don’t make me look at your other scars. I know boys like to boast about these things.’

‘Hey, look at these!’ Kirstie produced a bottle from her bag containing the vitamin capsules, before taking the space vacated by Mitch who was now glued to his phone. Despite his light tone, he felt a wave of anguish, the sight of the scars a reminder of the pain that Avi had been through. Mitch had promised himself that he would not give in to tears again. He blinked at the screen, seeing nothing.

Just then Scott swept in, and after greeting everyone he started talking about twitter, and arranging a new cover, and joking with Mitch. Kirstie squeezed her friend’s hand, and noted that he had said not more than two words to any of them since they arrived. He simply watched them and let the conversations flow around him, occasionally nodding. When Esther returned from the store, she found Kirstie making coffee for everyone in the kitchen.

‘How is he really?’

‘Tired. I’m trying to get him eating, and he needs pills for the pain.' Esther bit her lip. 'He’s not himself yet, but that’s not surprising. I don’t think he got much sleep in the hospital- well, once he woke up I mean.’

‘We are just so happy to be together again, but he’s not saying much. Maybe coffee will help, and we’ll be off soon.’

They took the drinks through, where Avi was nodding at Scott’s explanation of how he had spotted Jake during a hospital visit and thought he would make a great look alike, and how the plan had grown from there. He accepted the coffee gratefully, and told Scott that he might try to record a message the next morning. Soon Kirstie firmly ushered everyone out of the house, though they planned to return that evening for a short while.

The house seemed quiet after they left, and Avi breathed a sigh of relief.

‘I love them all, but that was exhausting.’

Esther nodded. ‘I can see that. What time do you want Mia to come over?’

He watched her face, but she kept a neutral expression.

‘Three o’clock sounds good, I can rest after lunch.’

‘All right then. I’ve got some things to finish up before we go, so that will work.’ She patted him on the shoulder.  ‘We’re going to be fine. Rest as much as you want, I’ll be right here.’

He was soon back in bed, leaving his phone on the table next to the laptop. Esther switched it to silent, and returned to answering emails. She planned to make some soup for lunch, and hoped it would help.  They would have to take things a day at a time.

 

They had a quiet lunch, discussing what to say in the message video, before Avi sat in front of his laptop to see what had been happening in his absence. There were hundreds of messages, videos wishing him well in every language, and the insistent questions about what, how and where were a constant theme. Abruptly he switched it off and closed his eyes, his hands over his mouth. When he looked up Esther was watching him.

‘They all care so much. So many prayers and messages for you, it’s been unbelievable.’

‘I know. But I feel overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say, or if I can face even one question.  I need time.’

‘We’ll get that time very soon, and we will work out your message. Keep it short and from the heart, then we’ll run away and be long gone by the time it goes out. Talking of running away, I have a meeting so I’ll see you later. Try and rest.’

She gathered up her things and was gone, leaving him still at the table with the screen dark in front of him.

 

He tried not to watch the clock, but it was a relief when the bell rang just before three. He opened the door to Mia, and they smiled at each other.

‘Are you going to just stand there, or invite me in?’

He followed her into the sitting room and waited while she put down her bags, finally turning to him and taking his hands. Mindful of his wound, she waited, unsure what to do next. 

‘What do I have to do to get a proper hello?’ he asked.

She started off, ‘I’m not sure if you can handle a proper hello –' but he interrupted her with a touch of his lips to hers, pulling her towards him with his right hand warm on the small of her back, before nuzzling her neck lightly until she sighed. Then his mouth found hers again, but as warmth rose up through her chest Mia’s breath caught in her throat, and she broke away, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Avi opened his eyes, saw her press her lips tightly together to stop them quivering, and asked, ‘What’s wrong?’

She thought she might crumple, shatter into pieces, as a jumble of emotions caught in her throat, taking her breath and barricading her words inside. He led her over to the sofa and eased himself down with care, and she sat slightly apart from him.

He reached for her left hand again. ‘Baby, talk to me.’

She took a deep breath and gripped his hand. His face was all concern, and she felt that she did not deserve to be there, even to think she could take his heart again after all the pain she had caused. Still he waited, until her words found their way out.

‘I hurt you, and I’m so sorry.’

‘You already said that.’

‘But I really am sorry. I need to tell you what happened, and then you can decide. That day, after our time in the park, I showed you a letter, offering me a job across the country, and we both were unhappy about it, and you drove off and went drinking. I should have told you I didn’t want to go, but I wanted you to say it.’

He nodded, and she went on.

‘I wanted to be with you, but I wasn’t sure if you felt the same. Then I thought you might never wake up, and then that, that when you remembered what happened, you would never- '

Avi leant over, and put a finger on her lips. ‘No more. It’s all right. I prayed that we could be together again, and have another chance. I wanted to take it back so badly. Let’s start over properly this time, put it all behind us.'

She brushed the tears from her face, and dared to look directly at him, relaxing in the warmth of those green eyes, allowing herself to accept his forgiveness.

‘Hello.’

‘Hello to you too. Do I get that kiss now? Or -’

She slid over towards him and pressed her lips lightly to his cheeks, and the curve of his smile. His longer beard brushed lightly against her face, and they held each other, breathing together, though Mia held back a little and never forgot about his wound. 

‘You can hold on tighter you know,'  he said, slightly exasperated. 'I had my pills, I can take it.’

‘Well, if you insist.’ 

This time there was no sweetness as she kissed him harder on the lips, licking and biting his lower lip before her tongue flicked over his, her hand caressing his inner thigh from knee to groin until a groan formed deep in his throat. She pulled away, a little smile on her lips, and enjoyed his slightly dazed look.

‘Esther could be back any minute. I need to be ready to talk with her.’ She smoothed her plait and rearranged her collar, looking at him innocently.

‘But you can’t just stop like that.’

‘You are in no shape to make trouble, fortunately. How’s that for a kiss and a promise?’

‘Huh?’

‘Maybe you don’t remember our first kiss, but I do. I’m just returning the favour.’

He chuckled and it warmed her heart, even though it was cut short by a wince of pain. She started making coffee and while it was brewing, came back and searched through her bag before extracting a small box. She handed it to Avi.

‘I’ll have to wait to give you a real homecoming present, but meantime I got you this.’

Inside the box was a simple black titanium earring. When she came back with the coffee mugs, he patted the sofa and she sat beside him on his left, carefully threading the earring into place before breathing in his ear, ‘Mustn’t let it close up through lack of use.’

‘You are so cruel to me. So mean.’

Mia was distracted, nibbling his ear and hearing him purr like a very contented lion, and almost didn’t hear the key turning in the front door.

Esther came in to find them chatting to each other and drinking coffee. She kept her expression friendly, glad that she hadn’t interrupted anything.

‘Hey, Mia. Everything OK?’ She busied herself taking off her coat and getting coffee, and came back to sit at the table.

Mia spoke first, bolstered by Avi’s support.

‘Esther, we need to talk. I know how angry you were with me, and you blamed me for what happened, but you couldn’t know how much I blamed myself. For everything. We are so lucky to have another chance and I am sorry. I hope we can be friends again.’

Esther did not reply immediately. She couldn’t just let Mia off the hook, but her anger had dissipated, and she could see the glow in her brother’s face.

‘Yes, I’m thankful that things worked out. I don’t know what I would have done if-‘ she swallowed. ‘Well anyway, it’s done now, so let’s move forward. It’s been a tough time, but we got through it and better times are ahead I hope.’

She smiled at her brother, noting his hand pressed lightly to his side, and brought him his pills. She gathered up the mugs and took them into the kitchen; now that she had seen them together, it was clear that they had found their way back to each other and they did not plan to let go again.

 

Esther was secretly pleased when Mia declined the offer to stay to dinner, she was already thinking about the journey ahead and she would be the only driver. But she welcomed the thought of going home to their parents, and finally being able to relax, and not having to organise everything for a while. While Avi and Mia said their goodbyes she withdrew to the kitchen and started to fix some pasta, bread and salad. The others were coming back for a brief visit as well. 

They had barely finished their food before the door bell rang and she was enveloped in one of Kevin’s big hugs. She held on to him, feeling suddenly weary and tearful, while Kirstie carefully embraced Avi and started to explain about rubbing vitamin E oil on his scars.

Kevin waited until Esther was ready to let go before saying, ‘How about I make the coffee and you finish your meal?’

‘Not very hungry, I’m all good, but coffee would be nice.’

He thought that she looked close to tears, leading her over to sit next to her brother while she tried to compose herself. She managed a small smile, Avi was grumbling about Kirstie’s advice.

‘I don’t know why you think I need to do all this. First pills, now oils, I’m not that vain.’

‘But you are a celebrity and you need to look your best, mustn’t spoil those good looks the fans love.’

Kevin chimed in, ‘Although chicks dig scars, that’s what they said in a movie one time.’

Avi scowled at him, but as the doorbell went again, it was soon replaced by a smile for Mitch and Scott’s arrival. Mitch agreed with Kirstie about minimising the scars, Scott said it might make him look edgy.

‘Or like a criminal, specially with that long beard and the beanie!’

He knew he was beaten, and went along with everything they said after that, again listening more than talking as he got tired. They only stayed an hour, but agreed that Kevin and Scott would return in the morning before they left, to record the video for the fans. Avi had not been on twitter and didn’t want to, but the message was important to him. Before leaving, the five held hands and said a quiet prayer together, and as the door closed behind them Esther was waiting to send him off to bed armed with painkillers and water. He dared not protest, and went to his room pleased that the two women who meant the most to him had started to work it out.

They both slept deeply and the alarm went off rather early, but Esther was up and ready in no time. By the time her brother surfaced she was packing the car, waving away his offer to assist as he was forbidden to lift any heavy weights. She even made him pancakes for breakfast, and they ate in a companionable silence. Both looked forward to getting home.

 Avi sat in front of the camera, feeling tense and restless. This would not be easy, and he wanted it over with, Esther fussed over him with powder and he waved her away.

‘You’ll look better on film with a bit of makeup. Let’s not get everybody worrying more than they are already.’ She squeezed his shoulder, ignoring his irritability, and sat across from him with Kevin and Scott, all three trying to be encouraging.

Avi clasped his hands tightly together, concentrating on his breathing. He had not felt this nervous in front of a camera for years. Finally he looked up and nodded, and the recording started.

He began by thanking everyone for all their love and support, before saying that since the accident he had been shown such care by the hospital staff, that he could never thank them enough. He apologised that he would not be on social media for a while, but promised he would read all the cards and messages while he was away, and asked everyone to give him time to heal. Finally he said a few words about his sister and his group, who were his family and to whom he owed his life, his voice cracking but he managed to finish with a small smile and a promise to be back as soon as he could.

They all hugged him then and said he had done a great job, while he was thankful to have held his tears at bay. He wanted Mia at that moment, and with that thought he excused himself to go and wash his face. When he emerged he looked presentable again, and they huddled together for many minutes, before the two men said a final goodbye and drove away.

Esther waited while Avi carefully fastened his seat belt over a small cushion placed to protect his wound. She turned the key and the engine roared into life.

‘Ready?’

‘More than ready.’

As they left the familiar city behind, his spirits rose in spite of himself. He was going home, where he would be safe and the rest of his family waited to welcome him back. He could relax, and if he did not have Mia with him, she was in his heart as always.

 


	13. Family time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi and Esther return to their childhood home to regroup and continue his recovery, while their parents try to make sense of it all.

 

The weather was kind as the miles went by and the scenery gradually changed, more green appearing as they left the urban sprawl behind. Esther relaxed a little, leaving her brother to doze and listening to the radio. She stopped only when the fuel gauge dipped into the red zone, and they both got out to stretch their legs and then restock with drinks and snacks. Avi took his tablets, but turned down the offer of food. He felt hot, a trace of nausea nagging at his gut, and decided to get in the back of the car where he could be more comfortable.

Esther pressed him to drink more water, and checked the map. She calculated that if he slept, she could get them to their parents’ place without another stop. She turned up the air conditioning and oon he drifted off again. She kept her speed right on the limit, impatient to arrive.

 

‘That’s them! Mike, they’re here!’

Shelly Kaplan had been jittery all day, and her pulse raced when she saw the car pull up outside her house. She flung the door wide and stepped out, watching Esther as she roused her brother in the back seat. He exited the car slowly, gingerly standing up straight, but she forced herself to wait until her husband joined her. At last her children approached, tired smiles on both their faces.

 

‘Come in, come in, your dad will get your bags. You must be exhausted.’ She followed them inside.

Once there, all the tears broke through and she hugged Avi, her baby, unable to speak. Esther surrendered to her father’s strong arms, and finally allowed herself to shed her own tears.

‘I can’t believe you’re here. I wanted to come, but Esther said wait until you woke up, she’d handle it all. We were praying for you, everyone was. You’re home.’

Avi held on, as her words trailed off into little sobs, until her breathing settled. When she released him his father was there, and the parents traded places with the men embracing silently in a wordless welcome while the two women wept quietly. Finally Avi broke the silence.

‘I’m OK dad, really. I am so glad to be home.’

Mike squeezed his son's shoulders before stepping back and saying, ‘I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could do with a coffee, your mother’s made a cake in your honour, so sit yourself down while we get that ready.’

They were all rubbing their eyes and dabbing with tissues, and when Esther caught Avi’s eye she started to giggle. The tension drained away as he smiled back.

‘Now I’m crying with laughter. I think I may be a tad overtired.’ She took a deep breath and relaxed on the sofa.

‘Don’t get me started. It still hurts when I laugh,’ Avi replied as their mother appeared with the coffee. 

Even as he reached for a second slice of cake, Shelly could see that Avi was not himself, and it was all she could do not to cry again. She saw the way Esther kept watch over him, and felt proud that they were so close, chatting away as they both concealed their fatigue. But the main thing was that they were all together, and that had been almost unthinkable only days ago.

‘Now, both of you need a rest, and your rooms are ready of course. Your father brought your bags in, and we’ll eat in about an hour or so.’ She cleared away the cups, and neither protested as they climbed the stairs to their adjacent bedrooms.

Back in the kitchen, the parents held each other tight.

‘Thank God they made it. Esther’s worn out, and Avi looks- well, he looks-'

‘I know. They’re safe here with us now, they need to rest and heal. We’ll look after them.’

 

Next morning, Shelly knocked lightly on Esther’s door, and set a cup of coffee on the bedside table. 

‘Morning, sweetheart. I didn’t want to wake you after your long drive yesterday. Do you want some breakfast?’

Esther stretched and sat up. ‘Morning. I just want toast, maybe some granola if you have it?’

Her mother smiled at her. ‘Sure, I have your favourite. Come when you’re ready.’

There was no answer to her tap on the next door. When she peeped inside she was unprepared for the wave of emotion that overtook her and called to all those other days when she had watched him sleeping. The guarded look of yesterday had been replaced by a peaceful repose, dark curls tumbled against the pillow. She closed the door again, and joined Esther in the kitchen.

‘I’m glad he’s sleeping, he hasn’t had much rest since he left hospital.’

‘I can see he’s tired. You both are, and so it’s our turn to look after you now. No arguments.’ She bit her lip before continuing. ‘I see a scar over his eye, and he keeps holding his side.’

‘He looked a lot worse before. There were lots of stitches, left arm as well, and of course the surgical wound. He’s got painkillers for that but sometimes it catches him. He goes very quiet when it hurts but he doesn’t complain.’ As she spoke, her father came in and sat down next to her.

‘He’s been through a lot. I don’t know how long he will need to get better. I don’t know when he will want to go back to the group, to singing. I just want him to recover.’

Her father placed his hand on hers. ‘That is all we want too. Good home cooking, breathe clean mountain air, no demands. That’s what he needs.’ They both looked at her questioningly, but Esther excused herself and returned to her room, where she checked her phone messages before heading off to shower.

 

Around ten o’clock, Avi opened his eyes to the familiar yet slightly dislocated setting of his boyhood room. A sliver of sunlight sneaked through the curtains, and he was pleased to see a water jug on the table which he emptied immediately. He stretched experimentally, his side aching slightly, and rubbed his left forearm where the healing scar was starting to itch.

He felt ready to get up and walked slowly downstairs pushing back his hair where it flopped over his eyes. In the kitchen, a coffee pot bubbled on the stove, and soon his mother appeared and fussed over him, examining him minutely but covertly as they chatted and she cooked eggs.

After breakfast and a shower, he slipped out of the house and went for a walk around his old neighbourhood, his pace deliberately slow and his beanie pulled well down. Fifteen minutes was enough, though it felt good to be alone with his thoughts. He considered how he could get stronger. Hiking up a mountain was too much, but he could start by walking every day, since it would be a few weeks before he could drive anyway. As he came through the door, Shelly came out of the living room.

‘Did you have a good walk? Need some painkillers yet?’

‘Yes, just needed to stretch my legs, but no, I’m good for pills so far.’

‘You shouldn’t overdo it you know, take things easy.’

He suppressed a sigh and nodded. ‘Yes mom, I know.’ They both went into the living room, and his father looked up from his paper.

‘I took a few days leave, if there’s any place you want to go I can take you.’

‘Maybe a haircut? It’s a bit out of control.’ He pulled off the beanie before sitting down and saying quietly, ‘You want to know what happened?’

Both parents nodded silently, and their eyes never left his face as he described what he remembered and what he had been told, mentioning Mia only briefly by name.

‘So- all this happened after you had a disagreement with Mia?’

‘Yeah, I didn’t handle it too well. Made some bad choices.’ He lifted his tee shirt to display the red scar on his left side before rolling up his left sleeve.

His mother was gripping his father’s arm. ‘And where does Mia fit into all this?’

Avi pulled down his shirt and paused before replying. ‘It wasn’t her fault.’

His mother was breathing fast, shaking her head at him. ‘But- but how can you say that?’

‘Because it’s true. I don’t blame her, I should have dealt with it better. I learned my lesson the hard way.’ He twisted the beanie in his hands, feeling under scrutiny and wanting to run. That had not worked so well before, and he consciously slowed his breathing, aware that his parents were waiting for him to speak.

‘She means everything to me. We are working it out and moving on.’ He stood up and finished, ‘I just needed to fill you in, but I want to put it behind me. Going up for a rest now.’

As he went upstairs he could hear them talking in low voices, but he only wanted to lay his throbbing head down, and he was asleep again within minutes.

 

The next few days went by at a pleasantly languid pace, and Avi was feeling stronger, eating plenty of good food, and enjoying seeing Esther relax and be mothered for once. He spent time  going through the cards and messages, and his video had been well received though some fans felt cheated that he had not been seen in public since he left the hospital. Others were predicting the end of Pentatonix, and that thought echoed a fear he had pushed to the edge of his mind. He had not so much as hummed a tune for two weeks or more.

He had been told that the knife had just nicked his lung and to expect a full recovery, but he felt apprehensive about breathing too deeply, and there was still the pain to deal with. His mother arranged for their family doctor to check him over, after which he was reassured that he was healing well; but this was not enough to soothe his anxiety. That night he sat on his bed and Skyped with Mia, but he was left wanting to see her. He understood then why it wasn’t always enough, that there was no substitute for holding her.

 

Avi chased the hooded man through the city and down endless alleyways, gaining on him steadily until he was close enough to touch. But the man suddenly turned and pushed him to the ground, and a thin bladed knife glittered above his face as he tried to shout for help, inside the hood only darkness and no face. He startled awake then, heart pounding and sweating, unsure for a moment where he was, the house quiet and dark. His side hurt, and he swallowed two pills and lay still, hoping for sleep.

He drifted off, and found himself pursuing Mia, who walked ahead of him down sunlit streets. As she reached the park, he called out to her to wait, but there was no sound, and she disappeared among the trees. In the next room, Esther heard him muttering and thrashing around in his sleep, and prayed that his mind would settle.

 

Mia left Esther’s house after her goodbye with Avi feeling both sad and happy, relieved that they had been able to talk. That first conversation was always going to be difficult, and she wanted them to be on good terms again, sharing jokes like they had before. Knowing that she was forgiven, feeling that he wanted to be with her still, had given her the strength she needed.

Though she did not know when they would meet up again, this time she could face the separation with a clear mind, seeing it as a temporary break rather than rejection. All the same, she felt flat and empty too, and impulsively she decided to go and see Jo. She rang the bell, hoping that it was a good time, and was so pleased when her friend answered she hugged her there and then.

‘Whoah, what’s this? Good news I hope.’

‘Jo, I hope you don’t mind me barging in but it’s been a big day and I just need to talk. And I stopped off for chocolate chip cookies and ice cream.’

‘Well, if you put it like that, welcome!’

When they were settled with drinks on the sofa, Mia told how she had talked with Esther.

Jo said, ‘Sounds scary. She is fierce when it comes to her brother.’

‘You have no idea. She looked like she wanted to kill me at the hospital, but now he’s getting better, and I think she calmed down. Not sure she has forgiven me yet though.’

Jo sipped her coffee, and studied her friend, who looked both tired and excited. ‘So. How are you two?’

Mia gripped the mug tightly, and there was a moment of silence before she looked up. ‘I think we’re going to be fine. We had a good talk, we cleared some things up. There’s still a lot to say but yes, we are good.’

Jo smiled encouragingly, and waited for her to go on.

‘I’ve thought about a lot of things in the last two weeks. About how life is uncertain, and it can change so fast, and leave you shattered. I realised that sometimes you have to take a risk and be brave. And so, talking to Esther was easy, once I knew Avi was on my side.’

‘On your side,’ echoed Jo.

‘On my side, as in by my side, together. We need to tell people how we really feel because the next day may be snatched away. I had so many regrets, wishing I had not held back, feeling angry about what happened, guilty, you know how I was. We’ll take it day by day, and that’s OK.’

‘So you told him then. No, don’t look so innocent at me, Mia. I watched you cry yourself to sleep a few nights, so don’t try it.’ Mia smiled, pure joy, and Jo released the breath she had been holding unconsciously.

‘I told him I loved him, yes.’

Jo hugged her friend tightly and shouted, ‘Finally! Even though it took a near death experience, let’s celebrate with ice cream!’

‘Well, I told him in the hospital but I thought he might hate me when he realised what happened, so I didn’t say anything then.’

‘Not even to your best friend. Not even to me?’

‘If it didn’t work out, I wasn’t sure how to go on. You’d been so good to me already, I didn’t want to burden you with all that as well.’

Jo looked horrified. ‘But what are friends for, if they can’t help each other out? I don’t understand you, but anyway we’ll have ice cream now, and I hope you know that you can always count on me.’ With that, she got up and went off to the kitchen, leaving Mia smiling on the sofa.

 

Back at her own apartment, Mia had the familiar feeling that sleep would not come. She felt strangely restless, wandering from bedroom to living room, until the box in the corner caught her eye. A black journal lay on the top, and she flicked through it until she came to the quick sketches she had done of Avi in the art gallery, that day that seemed like a lifetime ago. She closed her eyes as pictures of the events that followed unfolded in her mind.

She needed to use this energy, and with a sense of purpose she set up her easel and materials, put on some music, and started work.


	14. Dreams and nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia has to be brave to deal with separation from Avi.

With rest and her mother’s loving care, Esther unwound and had time to put the events of the past few weeks into perspective. She had surprised herself with the depth of her protective response; it had been a long time since Avi needed her to look after him, but old habits died hard. She could still remember trying to cheer him up after another day at the hands of school bullies left him silent and unhappy.

Music was the one thing he could escape to, and she had watched his confidence grow with the success of Pentatonix, and most of all with the love and friendship they all shared. She hoped that he would find his voice again, just as she prayed for his nightmares to stop.

 

One morning she woke, and knew it was time for her to head back to the city. She missed her house, and her own space, but she did not want to leave Avi either. At breakfast, she asked if she could go with him on his daily walk, offering to drive out to the country park not far away for a change of scenery. As they got out of the car, she breathed the scent of the forest, feeling it refresh her, and they set off at a reasonable pace.

‘Seems like you’re getting stronger by the day, you’re doing great.’

‘Good food, lots of sleep, what’s not to like?’

‘So you are sleeping ok?’

‘I dream sometimes. Nothing too terrible.’ His breathing quickened, and she slowed a little.

‘Have you tried anything yet? Vocal exercises or anything?’

‘No.’ He said no more, and they walked on in silence. They came to a seat, and he sat down first. ‘I’m not ready. Don’t fuss over me, Esther.’

‘All right, I just- I’m going back soon, and I wanted to talk to you. Take all the time you need, I’ll handle things with the team. It must be hard to get going again.’

He made a non committal sound.

‘I’m sure you miss Mia too.’

He looked into the distance, and a minute went by before he answered. ‘Can you let it go? She blamed herself, but I never did. I just want things back to normal.’

Esther took his hand and said, ‘I can see how much you care about each other, and if you’re happy, that’s enough for me. It’s time to look forward.’

 

The next day, she packed her car again and set off alone, leaving Avi waving from the door. In her talks with the others out of his earshot, she discussed his recovery and glossed over his avoidance of anything to do with singing. He had gone out with some old friends from his choir days, but they were warned not to press him on that subject.

In his Skype calls with Mia, she caught a trace of tension in his voice, but put it down to tiredness, and they both ended their calls feeling somehow less satisfied than before. Finally, Mia decided to act, and after making her plans, she rang Avi a few days later.

‘Hi baby, didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon.’

She could hear the smile in his voice, and it pleased her more than anything. ‘I really need to see you.’

‘Me too, but I still can’t fly or drive any distance. I feel like I’ve been grounded for weeks.’

She laughed and said, ‘It must feel that way. Can you do something for me?’

‘Sure, anything.’

‘Look out the front of your house, and tell me what you see.’

He went over to the front window, and scanned the street. A silver car sat on the road outside, and to his surprise Mia got out, still holding her phone to her ear.

‘What the hell?’ He cut the call and opened the door, watched her walk up the drive, her hair in a shining plait over her shoulder, and was rooted to the spot until she was in his arms and he could breathe in the apple scent of her hair again.

‘This cannot be happening.’ He kissed her nose, and held her closer, and they remained there in the porch until his mother discreetly cleared her throat behind them.

‘Well, don’t leave her on the doorstep, Avi. Hello, Mia, I’m Shelly, do come in. Coffee is ready, did you have a good trip?’

Avi followed the two women inside, amazed by this turn of events, listening to them chatting about travelling and weather. It seemed incredible to him.

‘We’ve been talking, and it seems it’s time for you to head back to your group. Your father and I don’t want to see you go of course, but we know you’ll be well looked after. Mia will stay a couple of days and then you can drive back together.’

Avi’s mouth was open, and Mia smiled sweetly at him. ‘Your mom booked a table for us for dinner tonight, that was so good of her.’

‘No trouble at all, my pleasure. We’ll eat at home tomorrow night, and I just need to go to the store for a few things, so I’ll see you both later. Your father will be back around six.’ Shelly left a few minutes later, and as her car pulled out of the drive, Mia took the mugs to the kitchen.

She was placing them in the sink when she felt Avi put his hands on her waist behind her, nuzzling the side of her neck.

‘You smell so good, and you feel even better.’ He wrapped his arms around her, one hand sliding down to her hip, the other on her breast, and pulled her against him, kissing every inch of her neck till she sighed. His hips moved in a slow rhythm, and as she was about to surrender she forced herself to speak.

‘You are going to be the death of me, you know that? Always starting what you can’t finish.’

‘Who says I can’t finish?’

She removed both his hands and turned to face him, slightly breathless and flushed. ‘Well, I do. I haven’t even met your father yet, and you expect me to make out in your mother’s kitchen.’

He shook his head and made a sad face. ‘I just want-'

‘I know what you want.'

‘I just want you.’ His pupils were dark, longing in his face, and Mia once again felt her skin tingle, felt herself falling, resolve faltering. She could not have refused him anything at that moment, and she closed her eyes, waiting.

Avi breathed deeply and finally said, ‘I know you’re right, but I feel like a frustrated teenager again. Am I allowed to kiss you at least?’

‘As long as it’s just a kiss. You know we can’t.’

He muttered under his breath, but he enveloped her in the closest embrace he could manage, ignoring the nagging ache from his side, and kissed her parted lips, his tongue sliding deeper, feeling her body respond to his touch. He held back, even as little moans formed in her throat at his breath hot on her skin. He made his kisses lighter, and the pulsing in her body slowed, until she opened her eyes, still breathless.

‘I want you.’

He smiled, and his voice was very low in reply. ‘Looks like none of us get what we want today. Raincheck?’

‘Put a pin in it. Not in real life of course, just metaphorically.’

Chuckling, Avi took her hand and led the way out of the kitchen.

 

When his mother returned, Avi had taken his pills and gone to lie down, and Mia was reading the newspaper in the living room. She smiled at Shelly.

‘I really do appreciate your help, and welcoming me here, when you hardly know me.’

‘Well, Avi told us you’re special to him, so there was no question in my mind, or Mike’s. We’ve all been through a lot and it’s time to look forward. He’s so much better now, rested and stronger, I feel like I can let him go again. You’re in Esther’s room, that’s right next to Avi. Table’s booked for seven, I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do. And we’ll have time to talk later as well. Ah, that’s Mike now, but you’ll be wanting to get ready soon.’

After being introduced to Mike and a brief chat, Mia excused herself and went upstairs to Esther’s room. It felt strange being surrounded by someone else’s childhood, but she was happy that her plan had worked out with Shelly’s support. She suspected that Kevin had also been instrumental in smoothing the way for her, and made a mental note to thank him, again, for helping out.

After a quick shower, she combed out her hair and put on a pale green linen dress with her favourite silver earrings, before knocking on Avi’s door.

‘Time to go. I’ll drive, you navigate.’

At the restaurant, she took in every detail about him while he talked, not heeding anyone else in the room. He had trimmed his beard closer, but his hair was still long enough to curl over his collar, and the earring she bought for him caught the light. The scar over his right eye was already fading, and he confessed that he was using the vitamin E oil on it, partly because Kirstie nagged him about it every time they spoke. The little grazes and cuts that had been so prominent on his face and knuckles were all but gone, and there was a sparkle in the green eyes she loved.

She told him how she had rung his parents after getting the number from Kevin, determined to see him somehow; and with their agreement she had flown up and picked up a hire car at the airport. She found energy and courage that she didn’t know she had, powered by love and his belief in her.

‘All that for me.’

‘Yep. All that so I could be teased and frustrated and be in the room next to yours. Well worth it, wouldn’t you say?’

In return he only laughed, neither noticing when neighbouring diners turned to find the source of that warm deep sound. Back home, they restricted themselves to a chaste kiss in the porch before going to their separate rooms.

Later that night, Mia awoke to hear Avi muttering and moving around in his sleep. She listened, wondering until he grew quiet again, before drifting off herself. On the other side of the house, Shelly did the same.

 

The next morning Mia woke early and lay staring up at the ceiling, listening to the Kaplans get up and go downstairs. There was no sound from next door, and she fought the urge to sneak in and see Avi. Instead she showered and dressed before joining Shelly in the kitchen for breakfast. When he didn’t appear, she offered to take him a coffee, knocking lightly on his door then going inside quietly.

He lay on his side, the covers tangled around him and just the top of his head visible. She stroked his hair until he stirred and rolled over, yawning before blinking and smiling at her. She thought she would never tire of seeing him wake up.

‘Morning. I dreamt that you came to my house and took me to dinner.’ He sounded groggy and his voice was little more than a growl.

‘No, that really happened. Sounded like you were having some bad dreams last night though.’

He frowned a little before saying, ‘No, I don’t remember that. I get hot in bed sometimes that’s all, bit restless.’

Mia chuckled and winked at him. ‘Hot in bed. Really. That must be my cue to leave you to your cold shower.’ She evaded his grasp easily. ‘Come down for breakfast and we can take a walk.’

The three of them chatted happily at the kitchen table and made plans for the day. Mia and Avi drove out to the edge of town, and they walked in the park hand in hand. When they reached the bench and viewing point, Avi sat down pleading tiredness, out of breath and holding his side. Mia was immediately concerned, sitting next to him and asking if he felt okay, only to have him cup her face in his hands and kiss her over and over, gently tracing the line of her jaw with his thumb and whispering in her ear.

‘I feel better now.’

‘Sneaky, but I like it.’

He gave her a wide smile, and pulled her closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. They sat quietly looking out over the green hills, warm in the sun. Reluctantly Mia got up after a while and they headed back home for some lunch. Mia suggested that Avi get his things together while she helped Shelly in the kitchen.

‘Did you hear him last night? I thought he had a nightmare.’

‘Yes. He’s been like that most nights, but I don’t want to nag him about it. Perhaps he’ll be better with time, I really hope so. You’ll look after him, won’t you Mia?’ Shelly stopped stacking the dishwasher and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Mia sat at the table and waited for Shelly to join her.

‘Shelly, he told you that we argued that day. I thought it was all over for us you know, I blamed myself, but we have talked about it and we’re moving on together. I will look after him, I’ll do whatever he needs me to do, that’s what love is about.’

‘Yes, it is. It’s obvious that he cares for you, and he was so happy to see you, I knew we did the right thing.’ Shelly felt more settled, and shooed Mia out of the kitchen saying she could handle things on her own. 

Mia went up to finish her own packing. She tapped on Avi’s door and pushed it open, finding him lying on top of the bed with his bags waiting by the door. His eyes were closed and she kicked off her shoes before lying down next to him. His hand found hers and they lay side by side until he dozed off.

 

Mia went back to Esther’s room, leaving Avi to nap, and her small case was soon packed. She had a map spread out on the bed, checking their route for the next day, and had texted Jo to let her know about the planned journey. There were other issues on her mind, wondering what the future held for her and Avi and for Pentatonix as a group.

She had no doubts about being together again, but what would they do about everything else? There were decisions to be made, and every option had its problems.


	15. Take me back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi and Mia enjoy a road trip and pick up where they left off.

Mia gazed out of the window, lost in thought, and was shaken out of her reverie by Shelly’s knock on the door and an invitation to come down for coffee.  
‘All set for tomorrow?’  
‘I think so, bags ready, plenty of water and snacks. Everything I need for a long drive, and if we get going early we should make good time. Hopefully just one stop, if Avi’s up to it.’

He nodded his agreement. ‘Sure. I’ll probably doze off anyway.’

Mia made a mock surprised face. ‘As if that ever happens.'

He smiled at her, and his mother caught the look passing between them, knowing and amused. Avi was more relaxed than he had been during the last two weeks, and she loved to see his happy face. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he went into the living room to answer. When Mia followed, he said that an old friend was coming round to see him before dinner.

In the event, two men got out of a car not long after, and when Mia tried to excuse herself Avi caught her hand and whispered in her ear that he wanted her to stay.  
‘No hiding away, I’d like you to meet these guys. You look great you know.' He was kissing her cheek when Shelly showed his friends in, and greeted them easily before they all sat down and started talking about their days in choir, and the mutual friends who were still around.

Mia smiled a lot, and let their chat flow around her. When it was time to leave, Dan kissed her hand, and Nate looked deep into her eyes for a moment.  
‘It’s been a pleasure, Mia. You look after him now, make sure he gets all the ribs he needs okay?’  
‘Sure thing, that’s pretty high on the list of things to do when we get back,’ she laughed. Avi saw them out, and came back to announce that dinner was ready.

They enjoyed a delicious meal and talk turned to the plans for Pentatonix.  
‘I guess that will be decided once we all get together again. I can’t say more than that right now.’ His face was clouded, and his mother swiftly changed the subject. She wanted cheerful faces for their last evening together, and bringing out dessert certainly lightened the mood.

That night, he slept more soundly and Shelly woke around six o’clock, happily realising that she had not heard him dreaming.

Saying goodbye next morning was a bittersweet affair, with Avi holding his mother quietly for a long time, her face buried against his shoulder. He whispered in her ear, and she nodded and managed a smile before stepping back, waving at the car till it disappeared from sight. Back in the house she wept again as she tidied his room, but it was always hard to let go of her boy.

It was a warm summer day, and Mia had tied her hair up in a messy bun. As the miles ticked by, Avi stole glances at her, noting the curve of her collarbone above the edge of her white top, small gold earrings glittering in the sunlight. He could not help but run one finger along her shoulder. When she smiled, not taking eyes off the road, he placed his hand on her knee, then stroked her thigh gently, slowly, till she wriggled in her seat.  
‘Stop it, before you make me crash this car.’

Traffic was light and the road stretched straight ahead, shimmering in the heat. He squeezed her knee.

‘There’s nothing much to crash into, anyway.’ He brushed his lips along the hairs on her forearm and she shivered.  
‘Clearly, you’re feeling better.’  
‘I could feel much, much better.’

Mia shook her head at Avi’s deeply wicked chuckle, but could not banish the tingle that answered his touch.  
‘We have a lot of miles to cover yet, and you’re gonna make me swerve off the road in a minute, so back off.’  
‘Okay ma’am, you’re the boss.’ He removed his hand, and reclined the seat before dozing off minutes later.

He woke to see her walking back from the store at the gas station, her arms and legs bare in her summer top and denim mini, and felt an ache that only intensified when she got back in the car and leaned over to kiss him.  
‘Not too far to go now, maybe another couple of hours.’

The radio played in the background as they talked about places they’d like to visit, new music that Scott had recommended, the latest film that Mia had gone to see with Kyle and Jo.

The final part of the journey passed quickly, and the heat of midday had mellowed into a golden afternoon as they shut Mia’s door behind them. Avi insisted on carrying some of the bags, and felt a quiet satisfaction when there was almost no ache from his scar. He hated taking the daily penicillin, though he accepted it was necessary, and had not taken any painkillers that day because he wanted his head clear. He watched Mia put down the bags and kick off her shoes, his desire rising unchecked.

She went into the kitchen for a glass of water, drinking it in one gulp before Avi was behind her, his hands on her hip and breast pulling her closer and nibbling her bare shoulder until she trembled, goosebumps standing out on her arms.  
‘Raincheck. Time to finish what we started, baby.’ His breath was hot on her ear and neck, and he held her tighter yet, her hips answering his in a steady rhythm, amplifying her tingle till it spread throughout her body.  
‘Oh.’ Mia’s breath came in little gasps, her hands on Avi’s thighs as he slipped his hands under her tank top and mapped out every soft curve and contour with strong fingers. He relaxed his hold, and she turned for him to pull her close again, licking her lower lip before his tongue slid deeper, igniting the fire.

She paused, trying to catch her breath, but it was impossible to stop and they moved into the bedroom, Avi never taking his eyes off her as she pulled off her top and skirt. Then she unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his chest and feeling his groan vibrate against her lips as she unzipped his jeans, melting again within, demanding more. Her hands traced the hot skin of his back and teased his eager flesh till he cried out.  
‘Want you so bad.’

She lay down on the bed and stretched both arms towards him. ‘Show me.’

It was much later when Mia slid out of bed, leaving Avi asleep half covered by the sheets. It was still warm even after sunset, and she showered quickly and pulled on a tee shirt and yoga pants, before starting to text the others to let them know they had arrived back. There was a flurry of replies asking when they could come over, and she was eager to meet up with everyone again. She tasked Kevin to bring food, Kirstie to bring dessert, Scott and Mitch drinks, and went to rouse Avi.  
‘Wake up, everyone’s coming over in an hour. You might want to get dressed first.’

The scar on his left arm was less livid, and hair had regrown where the leads had been placed on his chest. She ruffled his hair and took a moment to look at him again, utterly relaxed and his face lit up by a smile that took her heart prisoner all over again. She kissed his forehead and left him to get ready.

The trio arrived first, and Kirstie hung back while Scott and Mitch hugged Avi together. She embraced Mia, both grinning and talking at once, while Mitch trilled a little tune.  
‘Come back home, and never leave me.’ He produced a bottle of wine from one of the bags and opening it.

As soon as Avi was free, Kirstie took hold of him and held him tightly before she stepped back and looked him over.  
‘I missed you so much. Are you feeling better? You look good.’

He kissed the top of her head. ‘I missed you guys as well. It’s good to be back.’

She waved the box of donuts in front of him as the doorbell went again, and Mia opened the door to Kevin and Esther, bearing bags and boxes which they spread out on the table. The siblings embraced, needing no words, before Kevin engulfed Avi in a brotherly bear hug that went on till Scott called out.

‘Break it up, love birds. Time to eat!’

The living room was crammed with people happily eating and drinking wine, Mitch taking on DJ duties with his personal playlist blaring from Mia’s speakers, while she chatted and brought out more paper plates and cups. After the food had been demolished, she set about clearing up as the others started card games and the noise level rose. Kirstie found herself next to Esther.  
‘Looks like the trip home did him good, your mom took good care of you both.’

Esther nodded, ‘We both needed the rest. He seems happy,’ and she stopped, watching her brother joking with Kevin on the sofa. ‘He is really happy. He can’t hide it.’

Mia had just returned from the kitchen, picked up her drink and wormed her way in between the two men on the sofa, who each responded by putting an arm around her as she gave them both a peck on the cheek.  
‘Looks like this is the way it’s going to be, and I think I’m okay with that.’

Kirstie drained her cup, and patted Esther’s arm. ‘We’re all okay now.’

Scott called to them to join the card game, and they both refilled their drinks.

 

‘Let’s clear that up in the morning, I need a rest now.’

Mia surveyed the messy living room, but did not offer much resistance when Avi took hold of her wrist and pulled her through to the bedroom. Now quiet after their rowdy evening, the apartment felt still, the air thick and heavy. She opened the bedroom window, and turned to find Avi watching her, lids drooping and cheeks a little flushed.  
‘That went well,’ she said as she plaited her hair, sitting on the bed.

He reached over and pulled her down next to him and they lay facing each other, his green eyes half closed, her hazel eyes dark and dilated. She ran a finger over one stubbled cheek, tracing the jawline under his beard, then his neck and shoulder, finally placing her hand over his heart. He closed his eyes completely, a small sigh escaping and she touched her lips to his, still stroking his chest, nibbling at his top lip and feeling the soft tickle of hair against her face. Her heart hammered in her chest, yet his beat steadily, a smile on his face while she watched.

He murmured, ‘So what now?’

She had spent so many nights alone wishing he were there, suffering waves of loneliness and regret, and now she could not express the pure joy of being with him. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I’d be happy to stay right here with you, with food breaks of course.’

He nodded in happy agreement, eyes still closed. Her voice was a mere whisper now.

‘I want- I feel-‘ she came to a halt again, where were her words, why was this so difficult?  
‘Mmm?’ His hand was warm on her waist, and he remained still while she counted his heartbeats under her palm.  
‘But mostly I wanted to say I love you.’

She waited, taking the tiniest of breaths, hardly believing that she was truly safe again; anxiously skating over a sea of emotion on the thinnest layer of forgiveness. His left hand pressed hers to his chest, and she felt the rumble of his voice as he replied.  
‘This heart is yours. That’s all. You should know I love you.’

Her breath was ragged and she thought she might cry as he moved towards her and they lay entwined, matching breaths, secure. The tension Mia had been feeling ebbed away till she relaxed into Avi’s embrace. Aware of the shift, he disentangled himself and rolled on his back. She propped herself on one elbow and looked down on him.  
‘We could just go to sleep now.’ He was still smiling and she put her finger to his lips.  
‘Or we could just stop talking.’ In one fluid motion she sat astride his hips, and silenced him with hungry kisses while she rocked back and forth, her earlier fears swept away as she abandoned herself to desire.

In the early hours of the morning, Avi mumbled incoherently and stirred in his sleep. Mia immediately woke and snuggled up against him, stroking his arm.  
‘It’s okay, everything’s okay now. It’s all right.’

She kissed his back softly, and gradually the muttering subsided as he sank back into a deeper sleep.


	16. Weakest link

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each member of Pentatonix tries to help Avi, as he struggles to find his voice again.

 

Kirstie was pleased that Avi had come to see her on his own, and she greeted him with a big hug and a kiss.

‘Wow. I should go away more often, all this love I’m getting is fantastic.’

She laughed, and replied, ‘Yep, because you never get love any other time, is that it?’

He gave her one more squeeze and released her. They were sitting with mugs of coffee when she interrupted his account of the meal his mother had cooked on their last night.

‘That sounds great, but it’s not what we need to talk about, is it?’

He did not meet her eye. ‘You know me too well. There is something on my mind actually.’ He paused and went on, ‘I’m worried about my voice. I don’t know how it will be, trying to sing for an audience again. Everyone is avoiding the subject, including me. But it’s real, it’s now.’

Kirstie watched him intently as he studied his coffee mug. She had not seen him this uncertain before, and had assumed he always felt confident in himself and his abilities. Now he was vulnerable, and trusting her to listen.

‘I promised to go back and sing for the hospital staff.’

She leaned over and patted his knee. ‘We all want to thank them for looking after you, but before that you need to get your head together. Have you tried anything at all?’ A silent shake of the head, and she went on, ‘Well, you can talk, so you can sing. You need to start small and build on it.’ She fetched water for them both, and they stood up.

‘We’ll start together, then you won’t be alone.’ She began at the low end of her range and sang an ascending scale twice, nodding her encouragement at him. She sang through her scales, leaving him to listen to her.

‘Now, have another drink of water and just join in as I come down again.’ She sang descending scales, pleased when he joined in, and soon he left her behind as he reached lower notes. They went on with vocal exercises for a while, until she thought he had relaxed a little.

‘OK great. So now we’re going to sing a song. No, relax, it’s no biggie. It’s just us two. We’ll start with twinkle, twinkle little star.’

He looked at her suspiciously, frowning a little, and Kirstie caught a trace of fear in his green eyes. She knew he was anxious, and she was determined to coax him along despite his protests. She loved him too much to see him suffer.

‘Are you mocking me now? Because it’s not funny - '

‘No, no, not at all. When you fear missing the mark, lower the mark at first because success feeds success. We’ll start small and see how it goes.’ She squeezed his hand and they sang some nursery rhymes together, going on to happy birthday, and then she began Silent Night. Avi slipped easily into a bass harmony, and Kirstie clapped her hands when they were finished.

‘That was so great! How did it feel?’

He smiled uncertainly. ‘Feels a bit silly, but I guess it’s something. Not Evolution of Music, but something.’

‘Fantastic. Well, that’s all for today Mr Kaplan, be sure to practise at home, and come back to Kirstie’s singing school real soon!’  They sat again with fresh coffee, more relaxed now.

‘Did you talk to Mia about this?’

‘She hasn’t said a word about it. I sometimes wonder if she knows what it feels like for me.’

‘Well, she probably doesn’t want to pressure you. I’m sure she knows how it feels to be worried about something, and people asking you stuff all the time doesn’t help. She doesn’t know how to help, but she really wants to.’

Avi looked at his friend, questioning.

‘Well, yes we have talked, of course we have, while you were sick, while you were away. Mia would do anything for you, and we can all see how you look at her. Oh yes, you’re blushing now, but I’m just glad you’re happy.’

‘Busted, guilty as charged.’ He was still laughing as he picked up a text, and was soon kissing Kirstie goodbye to head over to his apartment where Kevin had been expecting him forty minutes ago.  She had suggested that he should talk to Mia, and he agreed though he was still unsure how that might work out.

 

Cello music greeted Avi as he let himself into the apartment and dropped his beanie and keys on the table as always. It felt familiar despite his absence, and when he tapped on the other bedroom door Kevin instantly stopped playing to come out and share a bear hug.

‘So glad you’re back, I’ve been busy and we got lots to work on.’ Soon he was spreading sheets of paper on the table and enthusiastically explaining how he thought the various songs were developing, where he was stuck, and what they thought their next cover might be.  Avi was quiet.

‘Look Kevin, I’m not-‘

Kevin interrupted, ‘You’re not ready. But you can’t avoid this any longer bro, time to get back on it. Sure, you’re worried, who wouldn’t be, but we are all here for you. Baby steps, that’s the thing.’

Avi picked up the closest sheet and studied it. ‘Maybe, if you changed this verse?’ He scribbled on it in pencil, then reached for the water. Time passed as they bounced ideas around, until Avi suggested taking a lunch break, and it had to be a burger. With hunger satisfied, Avi enjoyed being at home doing nothing in particular, with no plan for the remainder of the day. He texted Esther and Mia, and then decided to lie down and fell into a contented doze on his bed. He startled awake when the door bell rang, and realising that Kevin wasn’t answering, he yawned and opened the door to find Mitch and Scott grinning at him. He rubbed his eyes as he followed them back to the living room.

Mitch remarked, ‘Sleepy? Not much sleep last night perhaps,’ as he sat down, one eyebrow arched.

Scott joined in, ‘You must have been tired after your long journey, and it was very late when we all left wasn’t it.’

Mitch agreed. ‘Yes, very late, I must say I slept like a log after all that Chardonnay.’

Avi looked a little sheepish, but ignored their comments to go and make coffee. From the kitchen he heard them laughing, but decided to say nothing. It had been a wonderful night in so many ways, and he smiled to himself as he brought the mugs out, which did not go unnoticed. His friends shared a look.

‘Look at him smiling like the cat that got the cream,’ and they both collapsed into helpless laughter. After a minute of this, Avi tried to move the conversation onto safer ground.

‘It’s good to see you again of course, but was there something specific, or are you just here to disturb my rest?’

Mitch was indignant. ‘We’ve hardly seen you for weeks, and this is the welcome I get? Come on, we’re obviously not wanted here,’ and he stood up, smoothing down his shirt with phone in hand. Scott did not move, and Avi just looked at Mitch, who sat down again.

‘Well, okay then, but I will definitely leave if you’re not nicer to me.’

‘I thought it was you who should be nice to me. I’ve been in hospital you know.’

‘Yes, yes, we know, that’s old news now. I see you took Kirstie’s advice. About the scar I mean. Seriously, you look fabulous, you always do of course. The fans are dying to see you again. Every other tweet is Avi this, Avi that, did you make another video yet, blah, blah.’ He waved one hand dismissively, phone in the other, and went on, ‘So we came to see you- '

‘Because we thought you might be a bit worried- '

‘About you know, the whole singing thing- ' and they finished in unison,

‘And we’re here to help!’ before Mitch broke into a couple of lines from “Don’t you worry child” with Scott joining in, still typing on his phone.

‘You’ve been talking to Kirstie.’

‘Well duh, we talk all the time. It’s not all about you, you know. But seriously, I can’t think of anything scarier than this.’

‘Than what?’

Mitch rolled his eyes and put his phone away. ‘I swear I will come over there and slap you. Stop pretending, this is us you’re talking to. There’s nothing more scary than thinking your voice has gone, changed, whatever. You don’t have to be big strong Avi, doing it all by yourself. Although- ' Here Scott sniggered, and Mitch gave him a withering look. ‘Although, personally, I am sure you could figure it out on your own, what kind of friends would we be if we didn’t help, so let us help already.’

Avi had to admit that the prospect of singing again was daunting, although the session with Kirstie had certainly helped. It was all starting to feel like an intervention, but he couldn’t deny the love behind it. He thought he might get emotional right then, so instead put up his hands and admitted defeat. ‘I’m kind of rusty. It’s been weeks and I probably forgot all the lines.’

They had barely started warming up when Kevin and Kirstie arrived a few minutes later. Avi could only look resigned and said,

‘Why am I not surprised to see you two suddenly turn up? Well, while we’re all here, might as well do something.’

They beamed at him, quite forgetting to look innocent, and soon they got into songs from their last set list. Although his lowest notes were not secure yet, they were all happy to be singing together again, Avi feeling reasonably strong in his breath control.

‘Man, that feels so good. So right.’ Kevin pulled the five together for a group hug and a prayer of thanks, now Pentatonix were back together and ready to move forward again.


	17. Deja vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back.

The team were eager to discuss rescheduling appearance dates, and there was a huge amount of work to do for the delayed new album. Avi threw himself into it all, resuming his gym sessions to get fitter and sleeping as much as he could. They decided on their next cover and thought it would be a great way to announce that Pentatonix were back in business. Avi got up late on the morning they were due to record, so instead of sharing a car as usual he told Kevin to go ahead without him, he would meet them at the studio. But time went on and there was no sign of him, and no response to texts either. Kevin called him, a knot of worry growing in his gut, but got only voicemail. Finally he called Mia.

‘Hey Mia, sorry I know you’re at work, but we can’t get hold of Avi. Did he say anything to you about today?’

‘I thought you were recording today. Is something wrong?’

‘He’s not picking up. It’s probably nothing, don’t worry. Maybe forgotten his phone at home, he was running late this morning. Talk to you soon.’

Mia looked at the time, only ten o’clock, but she had a feeling of dread as she texted him with no reply. The next two hours crawled by and she became increasingly restless, till she could stand no more. At midday she grabbed her bag and told her colleague Rosie she was going for an early lunch. She went instead to the park where she had spent time drawing and people watching, and she phoned his number every two minutes. The phone finally rang after twenty minutes and she stared at his name on the caller ID briefly before answering.

‘It’s me.’

‘Where are you? Where have you been? Everyone’s out of their minds, you don't pick up, what the hell is going on?'

‘I’m okay.’

‘Is that it? You’re okay?’

‘I’m sorry.’

Mia felt a wave of anger, but she tried to keep her voice down. ‘All right, where are you? I’ll come get you. Yes, I do have to do that, tell me where.’

He gave her an address, and she hailed a taxi from where she sent Kevin a brief text.

_“Going to get him. Let you know”_

 

The taxi seemed to crawl slower and slower in heavy traffic, but on arriving at the destination she recognised the park where they had had their picnic two months ago. She felt hot and took off her jacket before walking over to a bench where Avi sat watching people enjoy the sun. She sat on the other end of the bench, and waited for him to speak. He did not look at her when he said,

‘You should be at work.’

‘Yes, and so should you. What is going on with you?’ Another long silence, and she snapped, ‘You could at least answer me.’

He looked up then, but resumed people watching without speaking. Mia stood up, and put her jacket on again.

‘You know, you can’t do this to people. Not after everything we went through, not just me, all of us. I’d better get back to work.’ She turned on her heel and strode back to the entrance to hail a taxi, but as she raised her arm she heard footsteps behind her and Avi caught her wrist.

‘Don’t do that. Let’s find somewhere to talk.’

She looked at him, furious, determined not to cry. He held her hand in both of his, and she allowed him to walk her back to the bench where they sat, still separate, and he let her hand go.

‘I am…’ He struggled to go on, swallowing hard, while Mia bit her lip and watched him.

‘I can’t. I’m afraid I can’t do it any more. I can’t sleep unless I take the painkillers, and then I can’t wake up, and I don’t remember the words, and…’ he trailed off. Mia hesitated, then moved to sit nearer to him, their knees touching. She had thought he was recovering well, and they all had congratulated themselves on how quickly he had returned to music. This time she took his hand, and spoke more gently.

‘I think we should go home.’

He nodded and produced his car keys, but it was Mia who drove them back to her apartment.

 

Once there, she took a better look at Avi, who sat on the sofa looking miserable and twisting the ring on his finger. She brought coffee, which he did not touch.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. How are you really?’

He pulled off the beanie and ran his fingers through his hair, then twisted the hat in his hands until she reached over irritably and took it from him. He stared out of the window, eyelids heavy and his brow furrowed with tension.

‘I’ve let everyone down. I just can’t face it, the recording, the tour dates, any of it. I can’t sleep without the pills, and I can’t function with them. I hate myself for it. It’s so weak. And then, I worried what you’d do when you found out. I thought you’d leave me, if- if I couldn’t be the man you wanted. If I don’t have my music, and I don’t have you. I can’t go on.’

He ended in a whisper, tears blurring his vision. Mia’s heart contracted, her anger washed away by his pain that she shared with him, like little knives that jabbed her chest. She gathered Avi into her arms, and held him, rocking gently as he buried his head in her hair, his shoulders heaving silently. She murmured comforting, soothing sounds, till his breathing settled and he sat up. His green eyes spoke of sadness and defeat and she longed to console him.

‘Sometimes I see a knife, but I can never see his face, and I can’t get away.’

‘You’ve been having the nightmares since you left hospital. We all heard you at night, Esther and your mom.’

He looked surprised. ‘You did? I don’t really remember, but I feel the fear. The pills stop me from dreaming.’

‘When you’re here with me, it’s better. I mean, I think you sleep better, afterwards, you know.’

He managed the tiniest of smiles, but distress was still written on his face. Mia fetched water, and he drained the glass and set it down, looking deeply unhappy. She knelt in front of the sofa, and taking his hand held it over her heart. She held his gaze.

‘This heart is yours. Whether you sing or not, whether you are famous or not, whether you make records or not, it's you I love.  As long as you promise to be honest with me, I’ll be honest with you, we share our problems and fix them together. I will look after you, because that’s what love is.‘

He leant forward and kissed her gently. ‘I don’t know what to do now.’

She stood up and said, ‘I think you should lie down for a bit. We can figure out the rest later.’

As he slipped under the covers he heard her make a phone call, before getting into bed and fitting herself in behind him, her arm around his waist. He exhaled and let the tension drain from his muscles, sleep coming swiftly. Mia snuggled him closely, and closed her eyes. She had not suspected any of this, and she felt both unprepared to deal with it, and sad that he had kept it to himself.

 

When he awoke, Avi was reassured to find Mia still curled up against his back, and as he stirred she spoke. She had spent the time thinking.

‘Feeling a bit better? Shall I make a coffee?’

He yawned and rolled over, blinking in the daylight. Mia got up and put on her sweat pants, and brought the drinks back to the bedroom.

‘What about work?’

‘I told them you’d had a relapse and I had to take you to the emergency room. And that I wouldn’t be in tomorrow.’

‘And they were okay with that?’

‘Well, I have used all my leave for this year now, so we’ll see. Boyfriend in a coma is quite a good excuse, but I can’t use that one again.’ She sipped her drink, her next words carefully chosen. ‘I think you should stay here for the next few nights. I mean you can do your thing in the daytime, but you can stay with me, just until you’re sleeping without pills. I’ll get you a key.’

He looked stunned for a moment, and she wondered what he was going to say. ‘That would be wonderful. Yes, I’d like that.’ He smiled properly, bright eyes lighting up for the first time that day, hair tousled and begging to be ruffled, but she held on to that thought.

‘OK then, time to get up. It’s just for a while, I wouldn’t like to tear you away from Kevin again. He’s on his way over now by the way.’

 

When Kevin came in, they sat together and talked through the plan. Mia would have been too embarrassed to discuss her sleeping plans with anyone else, but Kevin felt like friend, confidante and older brother rolled in one after everything they had been through, and she trusted him implicitly. The two men laughed together, and she could see the relief on Avi’s face. The plans for recording would have to be delayed for a while, but it was essential not to rush things, and with hindsight Kevin could see that they had been willing to accept Avi’s apparent rapid recovery at face value. Now that he thought about it, his friend had been agreeing with everything and not contributing different views like he usually did. The pills also explained why he had not had any alcohol since that first night back.

‘Sounds like a plan, but promise me one thing. Don’t ever drop off the grid again like that, or I’ll slap you so hard, you’ll be back in a coma.’

‘First Mitch, now you threaten me with violence?’ Avi put on a hurt look that only made Kevin laugh at him.

‘Clearly you need to step up your game, sounds like you been slippin’ lately bro. Well, may as well get some food sorted now, I’m ravenous.’

They swapped banter over the menus before ordering, and while they waited for delivery talked easily about a more manageable work schedule. The two men ate with their usual enthusiasm, while Mia nursed a little flutter of excitement in her gut. It seemed to her that she had made a significant move, and it felt completely right, even though she had never given anyone a key to her place before.  It was time to have faith in herself and in Avi.


	18. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Face a fear, take a risk, keep a promise; that's living.

Once Kevin left, Mia cuddled with Avi again, quiet and warm in the dark. It almost seemed he was asleep but there was tension in his arm lying on top of Mia, who was not fooled by his regular breathing. He was fighting sleep, and she recognised it now.

‘I meant what I said before. I’m staying right here with you, nothing else matters. There is a way through this, and we’ll find it.’

When he did not reply, she turned round to stroke his face gently and kiss him before resuming their spooned position. ‘You’re safe here.’

He held her tightly, and as his grip relaxed she thought he really had drifted off, allowing her to do the same. 

The next morning she woke early at her usual hour and switched off the alarm so that he continued to sleep, and she slid out of bed quietly. When he stirred and found himself alone he went into the living room, sleepy eyed and yawning. Mia looked up and smiled at him.

‘Morning. Bit early for you I think?’

Avi made a face at her as she made them both coffee.

‘I wasn’t sure what to do today, but since we’re up so early, I thought we could go out for the day. I fancy seeing the ocean and it’s already warm, so how about that?’

Avi smiled, the thought of a day with Mia at the beach was very appealing, and he put down the mug to hug her, then start kissing her neck and rubbing one thumb along her collarbone. Mia was firm with him as she wriggled out of his grasp, knowing that her resolve was always weak where Avi’s kisses were concerned, and they might never make it to the beach otherwise.

She got showered and dressed in shorts and tank top while staying out of his reach, keeping secret the warm glow of desire deep inside. After a quick stop for him to change his clothes, they set off with music blaring and the windows open, and before long they caught sight of the ocean.

Avi felt his worries recede to the far horizon, and they strolled along the beach drinking soda and people watching. Lunchtime found them in a beachside café where Avi declared that sea air made the food more delicious, and certainly he seemed to have regained his appetite as he tore through a plate of seafood. Feeling very full, they lay on the sand for a while, watching clouds drift across the sky with the waves roaring in the distance.

 

Mia declared that she had to have ice cream, and she watched Avi from behind her Raybans as he walked back to her barefoot with two cones, licking them both as they melted and dripped onto his hands.  The breeze tugged at his hair, finally released from the ever present hat and blowing in all directions at once. He drew such an intense response from her, and she wondered if he knew that she loved him beyond words, if he could feel the longing that surged through her veins like a wildfire whenever he touched her.

 

At the same time, he was taking advantage of his sunglasses to really look at how beautiful she was, pushing her long hair back off her face when the wind caught it, her legs bare and touched by the sun where usually she was in jeans and tee shirt. She had found her way to his well guarded heart by degrees, and he knew that she would defend him, and risk everything for their love. He didn’t have to be perfect, yet she accepted all he was and so unlocked his innermost emotions. It felt scary, wonderful and exhilarating. 

Once their ice cream was finished, they decided to head home. There was no protest from Mia this time when Avi planted feathery kisses on her arm while she drove, and she shivered with anticipation at the touch of his hand warm on her thigh for the whole journey. It was hopeless to think of resisting.

 

Avi could think of nothing but Mia, the feel of her skin and the smell of her hair, and the love he felt demanded expression. He wanted to sing to her, dance with her, but most of all to know every inch of her body. As she opened her door, he waited for her to go ahead into the living room and immediately drew her to him with a passionate kiss, which only deepened as she answered him with little moans and pressed her body against his. She stepped back far enough to pull off her tank top and he was there to lavish kisses all over her skin, tracing the curve of her stomach with the tip of his tongue, feeling the goosebumps as she swayed against his mouth.

When he stood up she remained still, breathless, and she closed her eyes and waited for his next touch. He held her to him again, feeling heat grow with every caress. This felt so perfect and she matched his every move, until he could wait no longer and pulled her into the bedroom. She murmured his name, over and over, abandoning herself to desire.

 

Afterwards, they lay satisfied in a tangle of sheets, Mia resting her head on Avi’s chest.

‘I wish we could just stay here, and I didn’t have to go to work.’

He stroked her hair and said, ‘That sounds so good. Whatever happened about the new job anyway?’

‘Well, obviously I didn’t take it and my parents were none too happy, but still. They offered it to a girl in my team and I heard she’s doing very well so far, but I needed to stay here. I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time for a change.’

‘Like what?’

‘Well, I’m not sure yet. But while I think about my next move I decided to take some art classes, try to improve my paintings.’

‘It’s always good to keep learning. You haven’t shown me any of your stuff lately, I wondered if you’d given up.’

In answer she got up and brought her journal and some large canvases. She pulled her robe around her with a small shiver as he sat up to see. Showing her art was like opening a hidden door, and she felt exposed.  This was the true test of whether she could allow him in, close enough to wound her if he chose.

 

He leafed through the journal, and then looked at the paintings. She had worked the study from the art gallery into a portrait, the light glowing around him as he looked down. There was another of him lying asleep in a woodland clearing, shafts of sunlight gleaming between trees. The last was unfinished, and showed Kevin playing his cello. Avi examined them closely, before turning to Mia, a look of admiration on his face as he leaned over to kiss her.

‘Wow! They’re really good, you’re so talented. You’ve caught that look of bliss that Kev has when he’s into his music, he’ll love it. I hope you don’t paint me all the time though.’

Mia thought of all the nights she had spent drawing and painting, but kept her tone light. ‘Well, no, but I just needed to work through my feelings. That was from the day at the art gallery, you were looking at your phone when I sketched you. Then when you were in hospital, I wanted to imagine you in a happier place, so I put you in the forest. And this is a thank you for Kevin, because I don’t know how I could have got through without him. He’s been like a brother to me.’

‘You and me both. When I think of all he’s done- well, there are no words. I owe him everything.’ He stopped talking and instead got up to lean the canvases against the wall opposite the bed while Mia watched him.

The late afternoon light slanted across the room and threw the planes of his back into relief where the muscles moved under his skin, strong yet gentle with her babies. When he looked up at her, she was biting her lip, the robe slipping off one shoulder and hair an untidy halo around her. He smiled at her again, loving the way she looked both shy and inviting.

‘Beautiful.’

She had put one hand over her mouth without realising, and now she held it over her heart that was blooming with relief saying, ‘You really think so? It’s not finished yet though, I want to- '

He interrupted, pulling her back to bed and breathing in her ear, ‘It’s you, baby. You’re my beautiful.’ 

Once again Avi silenced her with kisses and caresses trailing over her skin, sensations building until the world receded in an explosion of joy.

Mia woke first and put away her paintings, humming quietly to herself. As she got dressed she could hear Avi singing in the shower, and she felt deeply content, as if the world had come into focus again. He came to join her in the living room, and they arranged that the others should come over so they could all talk together.

 

It was not easy explaining how uncertain he still felt, and apologising for running out on his group, but Avi felt only relief in finally sharing his feelings, with Kevin and Mia both giving him wordless support. Kirstie immediately burst into tears, worried that she had pushed him too quickly, but he assured her that if anything, that time with her had been the biggest help and first step to recovery.

Esther gave him a look of understanding, she had suspected things were not quite right, but also knew that he would have to be the one to broach the subject. Scott and Mitch exchanged a knowing look.

‘Why didn’t you just say how you felt?’ Kirstie was sitting next to him now and holding his hand.

‘I thought I could do it. Then I was ashamed of letting everyone down, including myself. It’s really hard to explain. But now I know that I can put it all behind me, and – well- I love you guys so much, so…’ He stopped and closed his eyes for a moment, Mitch sniffing before saying,

‘Of course Mia must take some of the credit. No, don’t deny it sweetie. You helped bring our bass man back.’

Mia nodded, having no need to hide her feelings now that she was one of the family again.

‘Well, I have an idea.’

Everyone looked at Scott, and he outlined his latest plan to general agreement. When everyone left Avi and Mia alone, it felt like they had truly turned the corner.

 

Next morning Mia returned to work, and Avi drove back to his apartment. He felt a new sense of purpose as rehearsals resumed. He stayed with Mia each night, and they enjoyed a growing contentment, sleeping wrapped around each other. Mia went to work each day leaving a cup of coffee next to Avi as he pulled the covers over his head, smiling at his grumbles about daylight in his face.

The next movie night when Jo and Kyle came over, it was not long before they were openly kissing on the sofa, and Jo restrained her usual comments, delighted by Mia’s evident joy. The film had barely ended when Jo made her excuses.

‘Going so soon? We didn’t have ice cream yet.’

Jo raised one eyebrow at her friend. ‘I think we’ll leave you two to have dessert on your own, we’ll talk soon.’

Mia laughed, not even blushing any more, and hugged Jo and Kyle at the door. Avi had been whispering in her ear all evening and she had no idea what had happened in the movie, but she had a very good idea what was to happen next. When she went back to the living room, it was empty, and she grinned as she heard him call her name from the bedroom.

 

The group welcomed their fifth member back with enthusiasm, and when they shot their next video a week later everything went very smoothly. They had barely tweeted about a new cover before the entire fanbase was in a fever of anticipation, and this time Avi felt not burdened but lifted by their love and encouragement.

It was like rain in the desert to Pentatonix fans, who were overjoyed to see their beloved group back in business. Viewing figures raced into the millions within days, dispelling any doubts that the hiatus had damaged their popularity. Avi made time to answer the last few get well cards and messages, and they began scheduling their next tour, but before that there was another detail to attend to.

 

Summer was cooling down into early autumn, when a plain minibus arrived at Mercy Hospital one morning. Several people in scrubs got out and discreetly went into the staff entrance. The first stop was the children’s wards, where they distributed soft toys to all the young patients before heading up to the surgical ward. There were more staff around than usual, and they blended in well.

Suddenly, a cameraman materialised and announced that Pentatonix would be singing for the staff who had looked after Avi, and the group reappeared from the changing rooms in their own clothes and arranged themselves behind the nurses’ station. They started singing, more people crowded in, and soon it was hard to catch sight of them though the music was easy to hear.

Avi spotted Janey, who had stayed after the end of her night shift to hear him, and Sarah had managed to get a spot at the front of the crowd from where she waved to him. She thought he was mesmerising, and the music wonderful, as she filmed it on her camera. But as everyone poured their emotions into a final rendition of “Run to you” Sarah found herself crying, along with many others. It was Scott who said a few words of thanks at the end, the songs had left Avi feeling overcome, and soon he was engulfed in a huge hug by Janey, who fought her determined way through the press of people till Esther spotted her.

‘Boy, that was something. It gladdens my heart to see you looking and sounding so good. You don’t know how many fans you had here, and you just made some more. God bless you, and take care of yourself.’ She kissed his cheek and was lost in the crowd as more people wanted to say hello.

Jake the porter stood uncertainly at the back, but as he went to leave his wrist was firmly gripped and Scott pulled him over to have more photos taken with Avi and the group.

 

Many photos and autographs later people were dispersing back to work, leaving Sarah still waiting patiently for her turn. Avi had just finished thanking the surgeon who had operated on him, when he saw Sarah standing nearby, still holding her phone. She had not shared the precious photos taken on his last morning with anyone, and she was unsure if she could ask him for another. She felt suddenly shy, and her stomach was full of butterflies.

Avi greeted her by name and hugged her closely, speaking quietly in her ear, his voice flowing around her. She had no clear memory of his words the next day, just the smile that lit up his face, and how he had said her name and kept his promise.

 

Hospital security helped them get out of the staff entrance without too much trouble, and the bus was full of excited chatter. Avi felt exhilarated, that he was back where he was meant to be. Singing together again meant everything for Pentatonix, and the others couldn’t stop grinning at him, while Kirstie never left his side. She was so proud of him as he talked nonstop, and the celebratory mood continued over lunch and the impromptu gathering at her house afterwards. That night, he returned to his apartment and slept soundly without pills. Kevin greeted him the next morning without comment, but inwardly thrilled that he was finally escaping the nightmare.

 

After rehearsals a few days later he went out with Kirstie, who linked her arm with his and took a mischievous pleasure in dragging him into different stores. She knew he hated shopping, but he was looking for something special and had asked for her help. She modelled earrings for him, till he saw the one he thought Mia would like, in intricately worked Mexican silver with polished turquoise to set off her chestnut hair.

The shop assistant thought they made an adorable couple and gave them her full attention, explaining that the earrings were hand made and unique. Avi smiled at her, and she lost herself for a moment in green eyes, quite forgetting to speak. She did not see Kirstie smile as she heard the sales patter falter. It was something she had seen before, and Avi was focussed on the earrings again, nestled in his palm.

‘Do you think she’ll like it?’ he asked.

Kirstie exclaimed, ‘I know she’ll love it, Avi.’

After he paid they left, arm in arm again. The assistant was quietly envious of these two happy friends, and especially the lucky woman who was to be delighted by his gift.

 

They had enjoyed another wonderful dinner at the local Italian restaurant. Nothing could distract them from total absorption in each other, punctuated by Avi’s resonant laughter undercutting the ambient noise. He noted every detail, how her new silver earrings caught the light, dark hair over one shoulder, the way she put one hand to her neck when she laughed.  Her gaze held only trust and happiness, and he needed to tell her he felt the same.

Mia was giggly from more wine than usual as she unlocked her door. Avi followed close behind, urgently wanting to love her again, but he contained himself and felt in his pocket before holding out her door key.

‘I guess I should return this, now that I’m sleeping fine in my own bed? That’s what we agreed.’

‘I guess you could, but how about you just keep it, and surprise me when you get back from tour by coming to say hello.’ Mia was laughing, while backing away from Avi towards her room and kicking off her shoes. There was no doubting the love in her eyes, but the invitation in her smile was making him crazy. He joined in, his chuckle booming around her.

‘Come back to the love of my life? Sounds like a very tempting offer.’ He put the key away before taking off his jacket. ‘Let me show you how I feel about that.’

‘Oh, yes,’ she breathed, eyes closed. He heard her whisper his name, and knew he had found his heart’s true home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks -  
> Thanks for staying to the end, it's been fun!


End file.
